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Societies that don’t respect and honour their women can never make progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement. v.1

Societies that don’t respect and honour their women can never make progress. with this statement. v. 1
Right now, we live in an era where gender equality is yet to achieve. Despite all the changes of government and private organisation, it is a difficult to get 100% gender equality. It is an abstruse concept. The primary goal of this is to see both men and women as an equal human being. Till now, societies have been disrespecting females. But to grow as a peaceful and progressive society, it has to respect it's women, honour them and their rights in every condition. Societies can never make progress without giving women equal rights. I totally agree with this statement. My explanation is discussed further. First of all, women and men are no different. It is insane to differentiate them on the basis of their physical structure. If we provide them basic necessity which is provided to men, they will conquer the world inevitably. For example, education, proper health, freedom of speech are not given easily to females, still they are at the top position of the world's highest reputed organisation. CEO of Coco cola, Briton prime minister Theresa May, Mother Teressa, First lady Michelle Obama, Indira Gandhi; these are all examples of females who have done stupendous work in their field despite all the difficulties thrown to them by society. So, If they can do this without the proper support from the world, just think what will they do if we give them respect and honour, which they deserve. In contrast, people say if we give independence to girls then they will do unethical things and they will get stuck between complicated situations. However, this also can happen with boys, then why it is wrong for girls only. In addition, Superstitious people say it is not good of girls to work outside house, which has no logical explanation. Moreover, They also think that women should always work under the assistance of men. These are ridiculous arguments. They believe giving respect to females show that males of that family is less qualified and not capable enough. To sum up, in conclusion, I will say if girls are doing this good in all the fields along with obstacles, then just think about, what will they do with the respect, honour, love and support of society. The progress of any organisation is inevitable with the women friendly environment.
Right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an era where gender equality is
yet
to achieve. Despite all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and private
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
, it is a difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
100% gender equality. It is an abstruse concept. The primary goal of this is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
as an equal human being. Till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
have been disrespecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
to grow as a peaceful and progressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
it's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
them and their rights in every condition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Societies
can never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
progress without giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
equal rights. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement. My explanation
is discussed
further
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
. It is insane to differentiate them on the basis of their physical structure. If we provide them basic necessity which
is provided
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
, they will conquer the world
inevitably
.
For example
, education, proper health, freedom of speech are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
easily
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
,
still
they are at the top position of the world's highest reputed
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
. CEO of Coco cola, Briton prime minister Theresa May, Mother
Possible spelling mistake found.
Teressa
,
First
lady Michelle Obama, Indira Gandhi; these are all examples of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
who have done stupendous work in their field despite all the difficulties thrown to them by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, If they can do this without the proper support from the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
what will they do if we give them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
, which they deserve.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say if we give independence to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
then they will do unethical
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
things and
they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stuck between complicated situations.
However
, this
also
can happen with boys, then why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
In addition
, Superstitious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
to work outside
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, which has no logical explanation.
Moreover
, They
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
should always work under the assistance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. These are ridiculous arguments. They believe giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that males of that family is less qualified and not capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
.

To sum up,
in conclusion
, I will say if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
are doing this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in all the fields along with obstacles, then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about, what will they do with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
respect
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and support of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The progress of any
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
is inevitable with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
friendly environment.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay Societies that don’t respect and honour their women can never make progress. with this statement. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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