Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v.160

Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v. 160
It is believed by some people that children are ought to always stay with their families when they have free time. However, others argue that this habit has a detrimental effect. Although each argument has its own advantages, I believe that it is unnecessary for children to spend all their free time with their families and that they should be given freedom to have fun in safe environments with their peers. On the one hand, when children spend time exclusively with their parents, be them guardians or foster parents, their bond grows stronger. Children would start viewing their parents as their role models, and thus, absorb conventions and codes of conduct that are essential for the child’s development from them. Hopefully, this would ensure that children do not engage in bullying, truancy, or delinquency when they grow up. Additionally, being present with their families the whole time can protect children from dangers, for example, abduction. On the other hand, this habit can adversely affect the development of the child. If children socialized with their families only and were not permitted to see other children their age, this would result in them developing social anxiety and even being too dependent on their parents. Moreover, working parents are not always present in the house and, thus, cannot always take care of the child. To conclude, spending an adequate amount of time with their families is essential for healthy bonding and the development of the child. However, they should not be restricted to being with their families only, and instead be allowed to socialize with other well brought-up peers and engage in healthy and entertaining activities supervised by their parents.
It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are ought to always stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
when they have free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
However
, others argue that this habit has a detrimental effect. Although each argument has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages, I believe that it is unnecessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to spend all their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and that they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
freedom to have fun in safe environments with their peers.

On the one hand, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
exclusively with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, be them guardians or foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, their bond grows stronger.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
viewing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as their role models, and
thus
, absorb conventions and codes of conduct that are essential for the child’s development from them.
Hopefully
, this would ensure that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not engage in bullying, truancy, or delinquency when they grow up.
Additionally
, being present with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
,
for example
, abduction.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, this habit can
adversely
affect the development of the child. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
socialized with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
and were not permitted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
their age, this would result in them developing social anxiety and even being too dependent on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Moreover
, working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not always present in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and,
thus
, cannot always take care of the child.

To conclude
, spending an adequate amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is essential for healthy bonding and the development of the child.
However
, they should not
be restricted
to being with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, and
instead
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to socialize with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
well brought-up peers and engage in healthy and entertaining activities supervised by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Children should begin learning a foreign language as soon as they start school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your position. v. 160

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts