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The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.7

The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. v. 7
For the past few years, a plethora of people assures that the governments’ efforts to enhance the art sector do not bring beneficial effects to societies. They espouse that the union ought to alter these funds for the sophistication of public infrastructures instead. However, others bolster that these art sites, such as theatre bring merit to the community. Moreover, this essay will depict the approbation regarding the former notion, along with the reasons. First of all, people who enjoy artworks are sporadic. It is an undeniable fact that the majority of population wavers the attractiveness of arts, drama in particular. Merely 20 percent of inhabitants enjoy watching the drama in theatre. On the other hand, every Denizens harness the public services, such as bus station, highway, and railroad frequently. In other words, by aggrandizing the public structures, countless of citizens will be benefited. For example, there is only one mere man who finds drama acts are feasible. In contrast, there are ten people who presume that infrastructure is critical. Furthermore, a number of public structures are obsolete. There is ample evidence to suggest that the infrastructures oblige to be improved. Because of these outdated public services, many lives are jeopardized. For example, an old bus still forced to operate, even though there are some issues occurred in the machine. It will be prevalent to find pandemonium in the daily life. To recapitulate, while there are some perks from arts and culture sector that cannot be neglected. However, the virtues from enhancing public infrastructures overshadow the art’s.
For the past few years, a plethora of
people
assures that the
governments
’ efforts to enhance the
art
sector do not bring beneficial effects to societies. They espouse that the union ought to alter these funds for the sophistication of
public
infrastructures
instead
.
However
, others bolster that these
art
sites, such as
theatre
bring merit to the community.
Moreover
, this essay will depict the approbation regarding the former notion, along with the reasons.

First of all
,
people
who enjoy artworks are sporadic. It is an undeniable fact that the majority of population wavers the attractiveness of
arts
, drama
in particular
.
Merely
20 percent of inhabitants enjoy watching the drama in
theatre
.
On the other hand
, every Denizens harness the
public
services, such as bus station, highway, and railroad
frequently
.
In other words
, by aggrandizing the
public
structures,
countless of citizens
will
be benefited
.
For example
, there is
only
one mere
man
who finds drama acts are feasible.
In contrast
, there are ten
people
who presume that
infrastructure
is critical.

Furthermore
, a number of
public
structures are obsolete. There is ample evidence to suggest that the
infrastructures
oblige to be
improved
.
Because
of these outdated
public
services,
many
lives
are jeopardized
.
For example
, an
old
bus
still
forced to operate,
even though
there are
some
issues occurred in the machine. It will be prevalent to find pandemonium in the daily life.

To recapitulate, while there are
some
perks from
arts
and culture sector that cannot
be neglected
.
However
, the virtues from enhancing
public
infrastructures
overshadow the
art’s
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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