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The best way to understand other culture is to work for a multinational company or organization. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

The best way to understand other culture is to work for a multinational company or organization. v. 1
Some people suggest that the most effective way to understand another culture is to work in a company with employees from different countries. Although you may have a glimpse of the culture of your colleagues, I believe that this not the most viable way to learn another culture. By working with other nationalities one may learn at least a part of their way of life and other practices. For example, on what type of food they eat and the way they consume it. However, asking and knowing are not good enough for us to fully understand their culture. In addition, working in multinational company does not guarantee that you will be dealing with another race. There are certain company positions that do not require a lot of dealing with others, like for example being a software developer whose job is mostly on computer encoding and very seldom has the chance to talk with other colleagues. There are better ways to fully understand others culture. One of which is by visiting their own place to experience their culture. By going in someone’s locality, we have the chance to practice their culture and that way we will fully learn and appreciate it. For instance, in Japan they have the practice of being too respectful and punctual by experiencing this we will fully understand it clearly. Furthermore, reading books regarding culture is another good way to gain knowledge of other cultures. Norms and ways of life are being discussed and it is a helpful source of information. Though working in a multicultural company provides you a glimpse of someone's culture, I don’t think this is the best way to learn others culture. There are better ways to do it like visiting places and reading books.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that the most effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is to work in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
with employees from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries. Although you may have a glimpse of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of your colleagues, I believe that this not the most viable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
another culture.

By working with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nationalities one may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
at least a part of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
of life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
practices.
For example
, on what type of food they eat and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
they consume it.
However
, asking and knowing are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
for us to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
In addition
, working in multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
does not guarantee that you will be dealing with another race. There are certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
positions that do not require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
dealing with others, like
for example
being a software developer whose job is
mostly
on computer encoding and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
seldom has the chance to talk with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
colleagues.

There are better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. One of which is by visiting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
place to experience their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. By going in someone’s locality, we have the chance to practice their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
we will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
and appreciate it.
For instance
, in Japan they have the practice of being too respectful and punctual by experiencing this we will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fully
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
understand
it
clearly
.
Furthermore
, reading books regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to gain knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
. Norms and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of life are
being discussed
and it is a helpful source of information.

Though working in a multicultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
provides you a glimpse of someone's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. There are better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to do it like visiting places and reading books.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay The best way to understand other culture is to work for a multinational company or organization. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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