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The government's investment in art, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. v.1

The government's investment in art, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. v. 1
There is no doubt that the wildlife habitats are being destroyed due to a majority of animals are becoming extinct and other species are seen in the endangered list. However, this essay will highlight what are the reasons behind the occurring and what are a few potential measures to resolve it. There are multifarious aspects whole species of animals are on the verge of Disappearance. The biggest cause is the human activities on land. To illustrate, in many parts of the world trees is being cut down to make a way for farmland on which to grow crops. Such agriculture practices involve clearing huge plots of land inhabited by the local fauna, resulting in the loss of habitats for the native animals. Secondly, hunting is kills also responsible for it as a majority of people, animals for their own food because of the number of wild animals is reduced on the earth. These circumstances are causing a considerable amount of damage to animal species. Some solutions can be adopted to improve the situation. The primary remedy is, the government should aware public that they should not cut trees, whereas they can grow a significant amount of trees on the earth, which help animals by providing habitats. To add more, high authority can levy strict laws persons who are cutting plants and hunting. Furthermore, an administrator can organize seminars and programs pertaining to which animals are becoming disappear and how can they protect to these species and others more. In conclusion, the essay has highlighted that the reasons behind this happening are deforestation and hunting. The essay also presented that solutions to this issue are twofold: growing flora and Implementing laws regarding hunting.
There is no doubt that the wildlife habitats are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
due to a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are becoming extinct and other species are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the endangered list.
However
, this essay will highlight what are the reasons behind the occurring and what are a few potential measures to resolve it.

There are multifarious aspects whole species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are on the verge of Disappearance. The biggest cause is the human activities on land. To illustrate, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world trees is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a way for farmland on which to grow crops. Such agriculture practices involve clearing huge plots of land inhabited by the local fauna, resulting in the loss of habitats for the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
is kills
also
responsible for it as a majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the number of wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
on the earth. These circumstances are causing a considerable amount of damage to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
species.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
solutions can
be adopted
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the situation. The primary remedy is, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should aware public that they should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
trees, whereas they can grow a significant amount of trees on the earth, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by providing habitats. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
more, high authority can levy strict laws persons who are cutting plants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
.
Furthermore
, an administrator can organize seminars and programs pertaining to which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are becoming disappear and how can they protect to these species
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
more.

In conclusion
, the essay has highlighted that the reasons behind this happening are deforestation and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
. The essay
also
presented that solutions to this issue are twofold: growing flora and Implementing laws regarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunting
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay The government's investment in art, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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