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The government should task unhealthy food so that more people will be encouraged to eat healthy food Do you agree or disagree? v.1

The government should task unhealthy food so that more people will be encouraged to eat healthy food v. 1
It is being suggested that to promote healthy eating   amongst individuals, the government must enforce a levy on processed foods. I agree with this statement because imposing taxes on fatty foods could lead to a hike in price and also promote the availability of healthy food options at an affordable rate. Government imposed taxes on junk food may lead to an increase in the prices.   These exorbitant prices of fast foods could discourage individuals from consuming them. For instance, the UAE government tariff on fizzy drinks and sugary foods is high and the prices of such products are pumped up thus reducing the rate at which people buy them. This has led to a healthier population with a decline in the rate of diseases associated with unhealthy eating. Therefore, it seems that a hike in the prices of fast foods could be the solution to promoting a healthy lifestyle. The availability of healthy food options at an affordable rate could be a way to encourage humans to eat healthy. This can be done if the government could  channel the funds obtained from junk food taxes into reducing the  cost of production of organic foods hence  making them readily available at low cost. A good example can be seen in New Zealand, where the government assist small scale farmers with easy loans to grow natural foods in the country.   This has led to the availability of fresh and cheap foods. In conclusion, I believe that taxes imposed on junk food could discourage individuals from consuming them. It could also promote healthy eating among the people, if the government can ensure that healthier alternatives would be easily accessible at cheaper rates.
It is
being suggested
that to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
   
amongst individuals, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
enforce a levy on processed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
imposing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on fatty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
could lead to a hike in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
and
also
promote the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
options at an affordable rate.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
imposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
on junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
may lead to an increase in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
These exorbitant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
could discourage individuals from consuming them.
For instance
, the UAE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
tariff on fizzy drinks and sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
is high and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of such products
are pumped
up
thus
reducing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
at which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them. This has led to a healthier population with a decline in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
of diseases associated with unhealthy eating.
Therefore
, it seems that a hike in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
could be the solution to promoting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle.

The availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
options at an affordable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
could be a way to encourage humans to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
. This can
be done
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
channel the funds obtained from junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
into reducing the
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
cost of production of organic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
hence
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
making them
readily
available at low cost. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in New Zealand, where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
assist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
scale farmers with easy loans to grow natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in the country.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
  
This has led to the availability of fresh and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
foods.

In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
imposed on junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
could discourage individuals from consuming them. It could
also
promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating
Do not mix variants of the same word ('among' and 'amongst') within a single text.
among
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can ensure that healthier alternatives would be
easily
accessible at cheaper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should task unhealthy food so that more people will be encouraged to eat healthy food v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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