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Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. v. 1
For the time being, a commercial has been growing and broadening influence, due to have been changing technologies and increasing sell which have a positive impact on the income of companies. However, society throughout years has been noticing degradation among consumers, because they more time have been choosing things imposed by advertising and almost lost their own opinion. Overall, I think we could avoid negative effects and get more positive for everybody if use advertisement carefully. Thus, in the beginning the advertisement was developed with the good aims inasmuch as advertising clip should give consumers wide options to choice. Besides, via such video companies could make highly competitive conditions among one-type products. Now an advertisement around us permanently because gets access to more gadgets such as the internet, a billboard, the TV and so on. Therefore, new products and companies get more chances to represent them for better selling. However, throughout years clip makers have been finding out methods manipulate of an audience by repeatedly represents, repeat words, or, even, implement some technology that impairs on psychology of consumers. For example, early in the century had shown much news about a twenty-fifth of frame that imposed people to buy this product then throughout plenty of years different source to try denied this information. Moreover, many advertisements show standards of beauty via new creams or other products that make women more beautiful or help lose weight that leads to doubt about their appearance. Besides, many companies via advertising have been selling not quality products because of a good clip outweigh high quality in our time. Thus, a good start turns to something ambiguous. To sum up, I believe advertising as good as other methods of product promotions. However, necessary to restrict using such videos and turn them to a style that is more comparative than attractive and intrusive.
For the time being, a commercial has been growing and broadening influence, due to have been changing technologies and increasing sell which have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on the income of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
.
However
, society throughout years has been noticing degradation among consumers,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they more time have been choosing things imposed by advertising and almost lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.
Overall
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
we could avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
for everybody if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
carefully
.

Thus
, in the beginning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
was developed
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
aims inasmuch as advertising clip should give consumers wide options to choice.
Besides
, via such video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
highly
competitive conditions among one-type
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
around us
permanently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
access to more gadgets such as the internet, a billboard, the TV and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Therefore
, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more chances to represent them for better selling.

However
, throughout years clip makers have been finding out methods manipulate of an audience by
repeatedly
represents, repeat words, or, even, implement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
technology that impairs on psychology of consumers.
For example
, early in the century had shown much news about a twenty-fifth of frame that imposed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
then throughout
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
source to try denied this information.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
standards of beauty via new creams or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
women more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
lose weight that leads to doubt about their appearance.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
via advertising have been selling not quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
clip outweigh high quality in our time.
Thus
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
turns to something ambiguous.

To sum up, I believe advertising as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
as other methods of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
promotions.
However
, necessary to restrict using such videos and turn them to a style
that is
more comparative than attractive and intrusive.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay Some people think advertisements may have positive economic effects whereas others think there are negative social effects because individuals are not satisfied with who they are and what they have. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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