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All museums and art galleries should be free because they are an important part of a countries culture. v.2

All museums and art galleries should be free because they are an important part of a countries culture. v. 2
The issue of whether all museums and art galleries should be free to the public is of great interest to the public. Since they play a key role of countries’ culture, museums and galleries are widely regarded by people as free places. While some people think that it would be a waste of money and the government should pay the money to other important facilities. To my point of view, these museums should be free to us. Admittedly, not every person is interested in museums or art galleries and the government should spend the money on public facilities which most of the people can make use of them, for instance, the public transport, roads, parks, . etc. As the tax is from people’ effort, they should spend on most people’s requirement. Nevertheless, museums and art galleries play an important role in building up a country’s culture and it’s a key sign of modern developed society.   Since these art products are from people’s daily life which we didn’t realise but more than daily business, they sometimes show some higher level ideas. For instance what’s people’s real dreams inside the heart, what’s beauty and dirty. The most important reason that we visit the museums and enjoy the art product is that we need these positive elements. People need positive courage to strongly face the problems in life or need further suggestion to make their dream come true and sometimes the successful art can make it. When we fully understand the important role of art in museums or galleries, we would not regard them as wasting time or money. In conclusion, museums and art galleries make a contribution to a better society because they provide a wide variety of good art which would make a great effect on people’s work and life, so they should be free to the public.
The issue of whether all
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museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
is of great interest to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
. Since they play a key role of countries’ culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
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galleries
are
widely
regarded by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as
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free
places. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it would be a waste of money and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should pay the money to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
facilities. To my point of view, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to us.

Admittedly
, not every person
is interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend the money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
facilities which most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of them,
for instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transport, roads, parks
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
etc
. As the tax is from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’
effort, they should spend on most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
requirement.

Nevertheless
,
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museums
and
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art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
play an
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important
role in building up a country’s culture and it’s a key
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of modern developed society.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
Since these
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art
products are from
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people’s
daily life which we didn’t
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more than daily business, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
higher level
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
For instance
what’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
real dreams inside the heart, what’s beauty and dirty. The most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
reason that we visit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
product is that we need these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
elements.
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People
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
courage to
strongly
face the problems in life or need
further
suggestion to
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make
their dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the successful
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art
can
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make
it. When we
fully
understand the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role of
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art
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
, we would not regard them as wasting time or money.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
galleries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a contribution to a better society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they provide a wide variety of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
which would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a great effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
work and life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay All museums and art galleries should be free because they are an important part of a countries culture. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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