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The government should pay to the parents of very young children, so that one of them can stay at home and look after their children. What do you think are the pros and cons of this policy? Justify your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.2

The government should pay to the parents of very young children, so that one of them can stay at home and look after their children. What do you think are the pros and cons of this policy? Justify your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 2
Raising children nowadays has become a challenge for working parents due to time and financial reasons. In such a situation, the government of a nation ought to pay to the families with children, so that one of the parents can comfortably stay at home to look after the children. Whereas due to this policy, a child will get to spend more time with her parent and will get the undivided attention from her, however, it may become challenging for the parent to come back into the workforce. Also, the child would become too dependent on the parent. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the policy in detail. To bring up children happily, money plays a significant role and therefore, the government should make policy through which families with children are paid. Thus, one parent can stay at home to look after their children as they wouldn't need to worry too much about money supply. With the parent at home, kids will be raised better as they will be able to spend quality time with each other. Also, the parent will have the undivided attention towards the kids. Meaning, they will be able to look after the kids without being bothered about their duties at work. For example, stay at home moms can conveniently take out time to cook nutritious food for their children and can get involved in various activities which are important for children's overall development. Although, it will be of great financial help if the government pays to the parents of very young children, so that children can be looked after better by their stay at home parent, it may have a few disadvantages as well. Following the long break, whereas on one hand, it may become difficult for the parent to get into the similar role in the workforce which may lead to frustration. On the other hand, the child would also become so dependent on the parent and may take some time to adjust to the routine. For example, the child may become sad staying without the parent for longer which may affect her physical and mental health. To conclude, whereas children may face some challenges after their parent resumes the workforce, however, in the long run, they will learn important life lessons by spending more quality time with their parents and turn into better kids. And better kids make a better world.
Raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a challenge for working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and financial reasons. In such a situation, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of a nation ought to pay to the families with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can
comfortably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at home to look after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Whereas due to this policy, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the undivided attention from her,
however
, it may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
challenging for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
back into the workforce.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
too dependent on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of the policy in detail.

To bring up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
happily
, money plays a significant role and
therefore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
policy through which families with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are paid
.
Thus
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at home to look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as they wouldn't need to worry too much about money supply. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
at home,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
will
be raised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
as they will be able to spend quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with each other.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
will have the undivided attention towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. Meaning, they will be able to look after the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
without
being bothered
about their duties at work.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at home moms can
conveniently
take out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to cook nutritious food for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in various activities which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for children's
overall
development.

Although, it will be of great financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
pays to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
be looked
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stay
at home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
, it may have a few disadvantages
as well
. Following the long break, whereas on one hand, it may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
difficult for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
into the similar role in the workforce which may lead to frustration.
On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
would
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
dependent on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
and may take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to adjust to the routine.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
sad staying without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
for longer which may affect her physical and mental health.

To conclude
, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenges after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
resumes the workforce,
however
, in the long run, they will learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
life lessons by spending more quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and turn into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
world.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should pay to the parents of very young children, so that one of them can stay at home and look after their children. What do you think are the pros and cons of this policy? Justify your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
400 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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