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The government should not waste money on arts as this money would be better spent on other projects like sanitation or infrastructure. Do you agree with the above statement? v.1

The government should not waste money on arts as this money would be better spent on other projects like sanitation or infrastructure. v. 1
It is argued by many people that the ministry should not spend funds on arts and should rather invest the same for sanitation and infrastructure. I completely disagree with this, as along with investing money on infrastructure and sanitation, some portion of the money should be kept aside for the arts. To begin with, the art and culture of a nation depict its heritage, therefore, makes it vital for the government to keep some funds aside for the arts. The expenditure to maintain the monuments and the museums have huge costs, and the same cannot be managed without the support from the ministry. In addition, when we maintain the arts and culture, it will encourage more tourists to visit our country, leading to an increase in the revenue. To illustrate, Rome is known for its art and culture, it is one of the main reasons why it is a popular destination for the visit of tourists. However, for a developing country, the government should focus on providing proper sanitation and infrastructure facilities for its citizens. This means the government will need funds that would help in improving the sanitation levels and also the infrastructure of the city. This would mean, there would be very less funds which could be invested in the arts. Better sanitation conditions can result in reducing the diseases and good infrastructure will improve the trades and the daily commuting in the nation. To conclude, some portion of the money should to spend on arts and culture which will help in preserving our heritage and also generating more revenue from tourism, however the government should first look at improving the sanitation and infrastructure levels in the country.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that the ministry should not spend funds on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and should
rather
invest the same for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sanitation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
. I completely disagree with this, as along with investing money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sanitation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
portion of the money should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
aside for the arts.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of a nation depict its heritage,
therefore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it vital for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
funds aside for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. The expenditure to maintain the monuments and the museums have huge costs, and the same cannot
be managed
without the support from the ministry.
In addition
, when we maintain the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, it will encourage more tourists to visit our country, leading to an increase in the revenue. To illustrate, Rome
is known
for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, it is one of the main reasons why it is a popular destination for the visit of tourists.

However
, for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should focus on providing proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sanitation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
facilities for its citizens. This means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
will need funds that would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sanitation
levels and
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
of the city. This would mean, there would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun funds is countable.
less
funds which could
be invested
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
. Better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sanitation
conditions can result in reducing the diseases and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the trades and the daily commuting in the nation.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
portion of the money should to spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in preserving our heritage and
also
generating more revenue from tourism,
however
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
first
look at improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sanitation
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
levels in the country.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should not waste money on arts as this money would be better spent on other projects like sanitation or infrastructure. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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