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There have been major advances in technology over the recent decades and this has led to significant improvement in people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

There have been major advances in technology over the recent decades and this has led to significant improvement in people's lives. v. 1
Human is pampering in lap of technology. Presently, it is observed that mechanization is progressing by leaps and bounds therefore, human life is becoming easy and comfortable. It has been becoming a debatable topic whether advancement in technology is fruitful for our society or not. Here, I would like to accord with this given statement. On the one hand, there are inevitable drawbacks of it according to other people's point of view. First and foremost, nowadays, people are becoming lethargic due to over use of gizmos. To justify, the majority of people like to spend their time on electric devices such as on mobile phone, computers rather than playing outdoor sports and spending quality time with family members. Hence, they are becoming victims of many ailments like as obesity, skin problems soon. And relationship has become vulnerable with each others. On the other hand, despite having a few limitations of this trend, it is contributing remarkably to amend the living standard of folks. To begin with, increasing development in technology allows the people to save their precious time. For example, modes of transportation are proving a boon for everyone in this fastest era. People can easily travel the long distance in a flash, whereas in past, they had to waste lot of time in the journey. As a result, people can enjoy their trip without any hurdles. Apart from it, with the introduction of computer masses can complete their work fastly and without any mistakes. In big organisations, employees can complete their tasks efficiently and in apple pie order. Consequently, we can say that thriving in technology is superior for improving the life of people. In conclusion, although there are some drawbacks of this trend such as it creates a laziness among the people, these can be neglected by considering the positive points of this approach. I would personally believe that advancement in technology is conducive for enhancing the life quality of individuals.
Human is pampering in lap of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Presently
, it
is observed
that mechanization is progressing by leaps and bounds
therefore
, human life is becoming easy and comfortable. It has been becoming a debatable topic whether advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is fruitful for our society or not. Here, I would like to accord with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.

On the one hand, there are inevitable drawbacks of it according to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's point of view.
First
and foremost, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming lethargic due to over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of gizmos. To justify, the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on electric devices such as on mobile phone, computers
rather
than playing outdoor sports and spending quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family members.
Hence
, they are becoming victims of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ailments like as obesity, skin problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. And relationship has become vulnerable with each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
.

On the other hand
, despite having a few limitations of this trend, it is contributing
remarkably
to amend the living standard of folks. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, increasing development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save their precious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For example
, modes of transportation are proving a boon for everyone in this fastest era.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
easily
travel the long distance in a flash, whereas
Did you mean: "in the past"?
in past
, they had to waste lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in the journey.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy their trip without any hurdles. Apart from it, with the introduction of computer masses can complete their work
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastly
and without any mistakes. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
, employees can complete their tasks
efficiently
and in apple pie order.
Consequently
, we can say that thriving in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is superior for improving the life of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of this trend such as it creates a laziness among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, these can
be neglected
by considering the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
points of this approach. I would
personally
believe that advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is conducive for enhancing the life quality of individuals.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay There have been major advances in technology over the recent decades and this has led to significant improvement in people's lives. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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