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Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead going directly to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages. v.1

Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead going directly to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages. v. 1
These days, it is observed that the school student after completing this schooling opted to travel or work for a short period of time rather than directly entering into university. This essay closely monitors the benefits as well as drawbacks of such decision of students. When the student after leaving school decides to work or travel then there are chances that once they begin to earn money, they may not prefer to engage themselves again in studies and this would not initially trouble them, but in later stage of life if they get experienced in a particular field, they might not have fair chances of promotion compared to those having less exposure and higher degree of education. On the contrary, if the young adults travel and have work experience in the field of their interest before pursuing for university helps them in knowing people and managing their needs well. It provides them with the real life experience which helps them to make better and mature decisions in life. For instance, a student pursuing pharmacy has worked in a pharmacy store before joining college will help him with his studies as after working he might get more familiar with name and uses of medicines. Also, working prior to entering university may provide supportive amount of money while paying fees, especially for middle class family. In a nutshell, it can be said that if the school leaver travels or works before pursuing higher education, it helps in knowing his interest and obtain real world experience bit at the same time one should not refrain from joining back to university even though they start earning handful amount of money.
These days, it
is observed
that the school student after completing this schooling opted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for a short period of time
rather
than
directly
entering into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. This essay
closely
monitors the benefits
as well
as drawbacks of such decision of students.

When the student after leaving school decides to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
then there are chances that once they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to earn money, they may not prefer to engage themselves again in studies and this would not
initially
trouble them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in later stage of life if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experienced in a particular field, they might not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
chances of promotion compared to those having less exposure and higher degree of education.

On the contrary
, if the young adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
and have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience in the field of their interest
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
pursuing for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them in knowing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and managing their needs well. It provides them with the real life experience which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better and mature decisions in life.
For instance
, a student pursuing pharmacy has worked in a pharmacy store
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
joining college will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
him with his studies as after working he might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more familiar with name and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
of medicines.

Also
, working prior to entering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
may provide supportive amount of money while paying fees,
especially
for middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family.

In a nutshell, it can
be said
that if the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
school leaver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
or works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
pursuing higher education, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in knowing his interest and obtain real world experience bit at the same time one should not refrain from joining back to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
even though
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
earning handful amount of money.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some school leavers travel or work for a period of time instead going directly to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
276 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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