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The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. v. 2
It is a known fact, that crime rate has been increasing exponentially in many cities. Some people argue that it is because of the exposure provided by films and television, hence public is coming up with innovative ideas of committing crimes. On the other hand, directors and script writers state that the story is based on a true incident from the society. Well, the topic is debatable, I believe that, unless there is no harm to the society, variety of scripts need to be encouraged in film or television industry. From ages, the public has the habit of blaming the media or films, for happenings across the world. A Plethora of movies not only entertain us but also provide us information regarding technology, science, different cultures. Horror or violence is just an another genre of movie, and is up to the individual's interest to watch them or not. Mankind definitely worships films and television, so there is a slight chance that people might get motivated from them, but i do not see it as the sole reason for violence in the community. On the other hand, the government is anyway taking measures to decrease violence in films using censor board approvals. Since mankind inspires from the actions of superheroes, films are making sure to imbibe rich values in their role. Moreover, violent films increase adrenaline rush for the people who watch them, in turn keeping them active. I would like to conclude saying that, people not only get inspired from films but also from several situations in real life too. It is always beneficial to view films as a source of entertainment in this stressful world.
It is a known fact, that crime rate has been increasing
exponentially
in
many
cities.

Some
people
argue that it is
because
of the exposure provided by films and television,
hence
public is coming up with innovative
ideas
of committing crimes.

On the other hand
, directors and
script writers
state that the story
is based
on a true incident from the society. Well, the topic is debatable, I believe that, unless there is no harm to the society, variety of scripts need to
be encouraged
in film or television industry.

From ages, the public has the habit of blaming the media or films, for happenings across the world.

A Plethora of movies not
only
entertain us
but
also
provide us information regarding technology, science,
different
cultures. Horror or violence is
just
an another genre
of movie, and is up to the individual's interest to
watch
them or not. Mankind definitely worships films and television,
so
there is a slight chance that
people
might
get
motivated from them,
but
i
do not
see
it as the sole reason for violence in the community.

On the other hand
, the
government
is anyway taking measures to decrease violence in films using censor board approvals. Since mankind inspires from the actions of superheroes, films are making sure to imbibe rich values in their role.
Moreover
, violent films increase adrenaline rush for the
people
who
watch
them, in turn keeping them active.

I would like
to conclude
saying that,
people
not
only
get
inspired from films
but
also
from several situations in real life too. It is always beneficial to view films as a source of entertainment in this stressful world.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should control the amount of violence in films and on television in order to decrease the violent crimes in society. v. 2

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
276 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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