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Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. Discuss both and give your opinion. v.11

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. v. 11
It goes without saying that the reduction or the extinction of plants and animals is one of the most important issues facing us today. While some people believe that nothing can be done to solve the negative impact of human activity on the wildlife, I agree that there are a lot of things that we can do to raise people's awareness of bringing about a change. Humans have destroyed the natural world. Our activities are leading to the extinction of animals and plants. The population has been increasing day by day. For this reason, thousands of hectares of forests have been cut down for shelter, agriculture and land for building cities… Additionally, the demand for luxurious products such as leather belts, shoes, leather jackets, clothes, and products that are made of animal skin or any other parts are climbing up. Rare flora and fauna are gradually disappearing by human greed. However, there is still to change the present situation and we can stop if people along with the government made some precautions to cease the bad activities of humans. For instance, the government should start to replant the forest and convincing people why we still need the wildlife and forests so as to balance life on earth. Individuals can also spread awareness about the destructive effect that some of our activities have on the planet. To sum up, sadly, some of our actions have taken a toll on the wildlife. But it is not too late to embark on restoring and conserving the natural world.
It goes without saying that the reduction or the extinction of plants and animals is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues facing us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that nothing can
be done
to solve the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
on the wildlife, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things that we can do to raise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's awareness of bringing about a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.

Humans have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the natural world. Our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are leading to the extinction of animals and plants. The population has been increasing day by day.
For this reason
, thousands of hectares of forests have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down for shelter, agriculture and land for building cities…
Additionally
, the demand for luxurious products such as leather belts, shoes, leather jackets, clothes, and products that
are made
of animal skin or any other parts are climbing up. Rare flora and fauna are
gradually
disappearing by human greed.

However
, there is
still
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the present
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
situation and
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
along with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
precautions to cease the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
of humans.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to replant the forest and convincing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
why we
still
need the wildlife and forests
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
balance life on earth. Individuals can
also
spread awareness about the destructive effect that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
have on the planet.

To sum up,
sadly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of our actions have taken a toll on the wildlife.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is not too late to embark on restoring and conserving the natural world.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Some people think that this cannot be changed, while others believe actions can be taken to bring about a change. v. 11

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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