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The government should allocate more funds to teaching science rather than other subjects for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree? v.1

The government should allocate more funds to teaching science rather than other subjects for a country to develop and progress. v. 1
THE SCIENCE DEMAND HAS BEEN INCREASING BASED ON THE REVOLUTION IN THE TECHNOLOGY. HENCE, SOME FOLKS SAYS THAT THE SCIENCE SECTOR SHOULD BE SUPPORTED BY THE AUTHORITY IN COMPARISON TO OTHER SECTORS LIKE COMMERCE, OR ARTS. THIS ESSAY WILL COMPLETELY DISAGREE WITH THE IDEA DUE TO THE VARIUOS REASONS. FIRSTLY, THE FOLLOWING ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE DISADVANTAGES OF DOING SO AND SECONDLY, HOW IMPARTIAL INTENSION BOOS THE ENHANCEMENT AND PROGRESS IN THE NATION. ON THE ONE HAND, THE PRIME DISADVANTAGE THE SOLO SUPPORT TO THE SCIENCE IS THAT IT WILL DECREASE THE NATIONS ECONOMY AS OTHER FIELD GIVE EARNING AT VERY EARLY STAGE IN COMPARE TO SCIENCE WHICH TAKES ALMOST CONSTANT STUDY FOR A LONGER TIME. THIS LEADS TO LESS YOUTH WORKERS IN THE MARKET RESULTED IN THE DECLINE IN THE TAX RETURN FILLING NUMBERS. CONSEQUENTLY, THE MORE TAX RETURN REQUIRES A HIGHER SALARY. FOR EXAMPLE, COMMERCE FILED GIVES EARNING AFTER 3 YEARS OF BACHELOR GRADUATIO DEGREE WHERE SCIENCE FILED TAKES 5 YEARS TO COMPLETE THE STUDY AND 1 YEAR FOR HUNTING A JOB THAT TOO AT ENTRY LEVEL. ON THE OTHER HAND, PROVIDING AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY FOR ALL THE STREAM INCREASE THE CONFIDENCE AND INSPIRE YOUTH TO GAIN SOME DIGNITY AND RESPECT IN THE SOCIETY. OWNING TO THE FACT THAT IT PROVIDES A MONNEY AND STATUS TO STAND SUCCESSFULLY IN THE WORLD. FOR INSTANCE, COMMERCE FIELD STUDENT ENCOURGED TO LOOK FOR WORK AS SOON AS COMPLETION OF THE COURCE WITH PROVIDE THEM A CAPABILITY TO SUPPORT THEIR FAMILY THAT IS MANDATORY FOR MIDDLE CLASS PEOPLE. I BELEVE, IF THE GOIVERMENT SUPPORT THE EACH AND EVERY FIELDS AS PER THE REQUIREMENT OF THE NATION THEN SURELY THE DEVELOPMENT AND PROGRESS WILL REACH AT ITS PEAK LEVEL. IN CONCLUSION, SCIENECE, INDEE GIVE A NUMEROUS SCIENTIFIC TECHNOLOGY THAT CAN BE AN ASSET IN PEOPLE DAILY LIFE BUT, THE REGIME SHOULD NOT OVERLOOK THE OTHER FIELDS AS WELL. CONSIQUENTLY, OTHER STREAM ALSO CONTRIBUTING THEIR PART FOR THE NATIONS DEVELOPMENT AND PROGRESS.
THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCIENCE
DEMAND HAS BEEN INCREASING BASED ON THE REVOLUTION IN THE TECHNOLOGY.
HENCE
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
FOLKS SAYS THAT THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCIENCE
SECTOR SHOULD
BE SUPPORTED
BY THE AUTHORITY
IN COMPARISON
TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OTHER
SECTORS LIKE COMMERCE, OR ARTS. THIS ESSAY WILL COMPLETELY DISAGREE WITH THE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
IDEA
DUE TO THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
VARIUOS
REASONS.
FIRSTLY
, THE FOLLOWING ESSAY WILL DISCUSS THE DISADVANTAGES OF DOING
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SO
AND
SECONDLY
, HOW IMPARTIAL
Possible spelling mistake found.
INTENSION
BOOS THE ENHANCEMENT AND PROGRESS IN THE NATION.

ON THE ONE HAND, THE PRIME DISADVANTAGE THE SOLO SUPPORT TO THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCIENCE
IS THAT IT WILL DECREASE THE NATIONS ECONOMY AS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OTHER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FIELD
GIVE EARNING AT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
VERY
EARLY STAGE IN COMPARE TO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCIENCE
WHICH TAKES ALMOST CONSTANT STUDY FOR A LONGER TIME. THIS LEADS TO LESS YOUTH WORKERS IN THE MARKET RESULTED IN THE DECLINE IN THE TAX RETURN FILLING NUMBERS.
CONSEQUENTLY
, THE MORE TAX RETURN REQUIRES A HIGHER SALARY.
FOR EXAMPLE
, COMMERCE FILED GIVES EARNING AFTER 3 YEARS OF BACHELOR
Possible spelling mistake found.
GRADUATIO
DEGREE WHERE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
SCIENCE
FILED TAKES 5 YEARS TO COMPLETE THE STUDY AND 1 YEAR FOR HUNTING A JOB THAT TOO AT ENTRY LEVEL.

ON THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OTHER
HAND, PROVIDING AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY FOR ALL THE STREAM INCREASE THE CONFIDENCE AND INSPIRE YOUTH TO GAIN
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
DIGNITY AND RESPECT IN THE SOCIETY. OWNING TO THE FACT THAT IT PROVIDES A
Possible spelling mistake found.
MONNEY
AND STATUS TO STAND
SUCCESSFULLY
IN THE WORLD.
FOR INSTANCE
, COMMERCE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FIELD
STUDENT
Possible spelling mistake found.
ENCOURGED
TO LOOK FOR WORK AS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOON
AS COMPLETION OF THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
COURCE
WITH PROVIDE THEM A CAPABILITY TO SUPPORT THEIR FAMILY
THAT IS
MANDATORY FOR MIDDLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
CLASS
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
.

I
Possible spelling mistake found.
BELEVE
, IF THE
Possible spelling mistake found.
GOIVERMENT
SUPPORT
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "THE" or "EACH" is left.
THE EACH
AND EVERY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FIELDS
AS PER THE REQUIREMENT OF THE NATION THEN
SURELY
THE DEVELOPMENT AND PROGRESS WILL REACH AT ITS PEAK LEVEL.

IN CONCLUSION
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
SCIENECE
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
INDEE
GIVE A NUMEROUS SCIENTIFIC TECHNOLOGY THAT CAN BE AN ASSET IN
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
PEOPLE
DAILY LIFE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
, THE REGIME SHOULD NOT OVERLOOK THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OTHER
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FIELDS
AS WELL
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
CONSIQUENTLY
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
OTHER
STREAM
ALSO
CONTRIBUTING THEIR PART FOR THE NATIONS DEVELOPMENT AND PROGRESS.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should allocate more funds to teaching science rather than other subjects for a country to develop and progress. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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