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The government should allocate more funding to teaching science rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress to what extent do you agree v.1

The government should allocate more funding to teaching science rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress 1
In recent years, nation's authorities which are saving a lot of money to improve teaching of scientific lectures. This view may cause various consequences which will be useful for the nation's future. Personally speaking, the advantages which are caused by this argument have outweighed the disadvantages. This essay will deeply discuss the pros and mention the main points. On the one hand, the majority of the countries have changed their money investments to the campaigns which are supported in science based schools. For instance, last researches which are done by academics and professional tutors shown that, scientifically improved countries are many highly-qualified than other nations which are still using traditional system and do not allocate more money to improve education. For the reason that, governments which are aiming to be successful and bright about progress among the other authorities have to improve science facilities. Clearly, these kinds of developments which are done by responsible governments would have beneficial results in the progress of the country throughout the decades. On the other hand, environmentally supportive lessons such as chemistry and biology have also useful pros to develop the country which is nature friendly. To illustrate this, if an agrarian, which are teaching these kinds of knowledge as a reason of foundings provided by the government, students would be extremely responsible for the nature. Moreover, schools also brought successful and conscious people in the community as a consequence of well-provided government foundings. In conclusion, I would argue that benefits which are a result of this view, can easily outweigh the drawbacks. Furthermore, some countries which are not using this system should take precautions to easily develop their country such as scientific lesson based educational systems.
In recent years, nation's authorities which are saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
teaching of scientific lectures. This view may cause various consequences which will be useful for the nation's future.
Personally
speaking, the advantages which
are caused
by this argument have outweighed the disadvantages. This essay will
deeply
discuss the pros and mention the main points.

On the one hand, the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their money investments to the campaigns which
are supported
in science based schools.
For instance
, last researches which
are done
by academics and professional tutors shown that,
scientifically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
highly
-qualified than other nations which are
still
using traditional system and do not allocate more money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
education. For the reason that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
which are aiming to be successful and bright about progress among the other authorities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
science facilities.
Clearly
, these kinds of developments which
are done
by responsible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
would have beneficial results in the progress of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
throughout the decades.

On the other hand
,
environmentally
supportive lessons such as chemistry and biology have
also
useful pros to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which is nature friendly. To illustrate this, if an agrarian, which are teaching these kinds of knowledge as a reason of
Possible spelling mistake found.
foundings
provided by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, students would be
extremely
responsible for the nature.
Moreover
, schools
also
brought successful and conscious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the community as a consequence of well-provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
foundings
.

In conclusion
, I would argue that benefits which are a result of this view, can
easily
outweigh the drawbacks.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are not using this system should take precautions to
easily
develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
such as scientific lesson based educational systems.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The government should allocate more funding to teaching science rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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