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The government has announced that it plans to build a new university. Some people think that your community would be a good place to locate the university. Use specific details to support your answer. v.2

The government has announced that it plans to build a new university. Some people think that your community would be a good place to locate the university. Use specific details to support your answer. v. 2
It is becoming essential to have common international language, in order to achieve effective communication and better understanding. In my opinion, having a common international jargon is really crucial, this will build confidence in expression and ideas can be shared much more easily across the nation. Firstly, focusing on common international language doesn't mean that, we should forget our regional accent. It is important to preserve our regional speech, as it represents our culture. Moreover, regional accent has emotionally connect to the region and it gives comfort of speech. However, we should make sure that we grow competencies in common international dialect, which will be helpful in the global discussion and will help in the countries economical growth. It is not only to learn how to write, but also how to speak is important. The better ability we develop to convey our thoughts, the more growth, we can expect for our country. Secondly, having same language known internationally, will help in an effective communication on a global scale. Places where decision making is really important and can affect its country, affluent and common language plays a very important role. If we cannot communicate our challenges to the helping nation, we cannot expect help from them in return. Like English is commonly referred international language and if we don't know English, then communication with the UN will become difficult. For example, recently India took some political decision on Kashmir, which Pakistan questioned as an inappropriate and requested intervene of the UN. Reason because we had common international language we could defend our decision. Whereas, if it would have been otherwise, and we don't know English, we would have to revert our decision because of pressure from the UN. In conclusion, any problem can be resolved with discussion and solutions discovered in discussion. However, if we cannot communicate because of the language barrier, we cannot discuss and therefore cannot resolve issues and this can affect system adversely.
It is becoming essential to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, in order to achieve effective communication and better understanding. In my opinion, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
jargon is
really
crucial, this will build confidence in expression and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
can
be shared
much more
easily
across the nation.

Firstly
, focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
doesn't mean that, we should forget our regional accent. It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
to preserve our regional speech, as it represents our culture.
Moreover
, regional accent has
emotionally
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "connected".
connect
to the region and it gives comfort of speech.
However
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that we grow competencies in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
dialect, which will be helpful in the global discussion and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the countries
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
growth. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to learn how to write,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
how to speak is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
. The better ability we develop to convey our thoughts, the more growth, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
for our country.

Secondly
, having same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
known
internationally
, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in an effective communication on a global scale. Places where
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
is
really
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
and can affect its country, affluent and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
plays a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
role. If we cannot communicate our challenges to the helping nation, we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from them in return. Like English is
commonly
referred
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and if we don't know English, then communication with the UN will become difficult.
For example
, recently India took
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
on Kashmir, which Pakistan questioned as an inappropriate and requested intervene of the UN. Reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
we could defend our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
. Whereas, if it
Did you mean "had been"?
would have been
otherwise
, and we don't know English, we would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
revert our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of pressure from the UN.

In conclusion
, any problem can
be resolved
with discussion and solutions discovered in discussion.
However
, if we cannot communicate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier, we cannot discuss and
therefore
cannot resolve issues and this can affect system
adversely
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can; there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.
Sarah Caldwell

IELTS essay The government has announced that it plans to build a new university. Some people think that your community would be a good place to locate the university. Use specific details to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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