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Some universities require students to take classes in many subjects. Other universities require students to specialize in one subject. Which is better? v.1

Some universities require students to take classes in many subjects. Other universities require students to specialize in one subject. Which is better? v. 1
It is often said that the one responsible for the conservation of the environment is the government. However, this idea will not be effective without the help of the community, thus, I believe, in order to maintain the preservation of the environment, everyone should have a contribution to the mother nature. On the one hand, the government plays a vital role in maintaining the biodiversity of the environment. It is the authorities that should introduce legislations in order to alleviate certain problems such as air pollution and deforestation. There should be laws regarding the usage of cars and public transportations; since cars exhaust fumes that greatly affects the environment. Also, the government could persuade the community through TV programs and ads regarding the conservation of the biodiversity of the environment. By having these activities, the individuals are informed of the consequences of their actions, hence they may alter their ways to avoid harming the environment. On the other hand, it cannot be denied that the individuals in the society have also a major role in preserving the environment. Plastics are considered to be a major source of plastic pollution that widely affects the wildlife and wildlife habitat. By implementing laws regarding the usage of plastics to be decreased is a great help to the environment, and also by using recyclable materials. Lessening the plastic wastes from entering and contaminating the waterways, people are able to conserve drinkable water and its inhabitants. Furthermore, individuals must plant more trees to increase the oxygen rate being released in the atmosphere in order to fight the global warming. To conclude, protecting the environment is a huge amount of work in order to reach a more sensible approach. It is therefore joint forces of both the government and their citizens would result in the most effective way of conserving the environment.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that the one responsible for the conservation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
However
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
will not be effective without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the community,
thus
, I believe, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to maintain the preservation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, everyone should have a contribution to the mother nature.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
plays a vital role in maintaining the biodiversity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. It is the authorities that should introduce
Possible spelling mistake found.
legislations
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to alleviate certain problems such as air pollution and deforestation. There should be laws regarding the usage of cars and public transportations; since cars exhaust fumes that
greatly
affects the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could persuade the community through TV programs and ads regarding the conservation of the biodiversity of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. By having these activities, the individuals
are informed
of the consequences of their actions,
hence
they may alter their ways to avoid harming the environment.

On the other hand
, it cannot
be denied
that the individuals in the society have
also
a major role in preserving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Plastics
are considered
to be a major source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
pollution that
widely
affects the wildlife and wildlife habitat. By implementing laws regarding the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastics
to
be decreased
is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, and
also
by using recyclable materials. Lessening the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
wastes from entering and contaminating the waterways,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to conserve drinkable water and its inhabitants.
Furthermore
, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
plant more trees to increase the oxygen rate
being released
in the atmosphere in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to fight the global warming.

To conclude
, protecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
is a huge amount of work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to reach a more sensible approach. It is
therefore
joint forces of both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and their citizens would result in the most effective way of conserving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some universities require students to take classes in many subjects. Other universities require students to specialize in one subject. Which is better? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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