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The gap between rich and poor is growing. What problems does this create? What can be done to tackle them? v.1

The gap between rich and poor is growing. What problems does this create? What can be done to tackle them? v. 1
It is irrefutable fact that the gap between rich and poor families is widening with the world population. Rich people become more consumptive, while poor people have to struggle for earning livelihood. This essay shall discuss the problems and solution created by this situation. To begin with, infrastructure of the country is depended on how balanced people are living in the nation in terms of finance. If balanced is not occurred then brought disparity between skyscrapers and slums, which is not ideal condition as far as good infrastructure of the nation is concern. Moreover, the rate of illiteracy is burgeoning because they have not found profound study in school; as schools are flooded by school goers who are belong to rich household. Finally, education is inextricably linked with the economy of sovereign states. Economy of the nation is plunged if illiterature rate is high and vice versa. Accordingly, the solution for aforementioned problem is varied. Firstly, higher authority should provide variety of scheme for low cast families. Thus, they have build appropriate size of house compare to bungalow comprising with wide range of amenities. Secondly, government should allocate reservation for backward classes to reduce the gap of education level of students. Additionally, local charities and communities should held scholarship program so that poor pupils stimulated towards high level of study. This might be helped to national economy indirectly. For example, the patidar community, my community, has been giving some amount of money since a last decade as a part of school fees. As a result, the onus of fees might be abated from parents somehow. To conclude, the line between high class family and low class family has perilous effects on economy, infrastructure and education level. despite that, government and communities should break that hurdles and spell to overcome financial disparity among citizens.
It is irrefutable fact that the gap between rich and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
is widening with the world population. Rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
become more consumptive, while poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
struggle for earning livelihood. This essay shall discuss the problems and solution created by this situation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, infrastructure of the country
is depended
on how balanced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are living in the nation in terms of finance. If balanced is not occurred then brought disparity between skyscrapers and slums, which is not ideal condition as far as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
infrastructure of the nation is concern.
Moreover
, the rate of illiteracy is burgeoning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have not found profound study in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
; as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are flooded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
goers who are
Consider using a past participle here: "belonged".
belong
to rich household.
Finally
, education is
inextricably
linked with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of sovereign states.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economy
of the nation
is plunged
if
Possible spelling mistake found.
illiterature
rate is high and vice versa.

Accordingly
, the solution for aforementioned problem
is varied
.
Firstly
, higher authority should provide variety of scheme for low cast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
Thus
, they have build appropriate size of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
compare to bungalow comprising with wide range of amenities.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allocate reservation for backward classes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the gap of education level of students.
Additionally
, local charities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "hold"
held
scholarship program
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that poor pupils stimulated towards high level of study. This might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
to national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
indirectly
.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
patidar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, has been giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of money since a last decade as a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
fees.
As a result
, the onus of fees might
be abated
from parents somehow.

To conclude
, the line between high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
has perilous effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, infrastructure and education level.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
despite
that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
should break that hurdles and spell to overcome financial disparity among citizens.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay The gap between rich and poor is growing. What problems does this create? What can be done to tackle them? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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