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Do you agree or disagree? successful people try new things and take risk than only doing what they already know how to do well. v.153

successful people try new things and take risk than only doing what they already know how to do well. v. 153
The question is whether successful people try new things and take risk than only doing what they already know how to do well. In my perspective, everyone can hold a type of approach in consideration to his vantage point. People usually examine cons and pros life scrupulously and then decide to select a safe life or a risky life. In the existence these points, I believe that one of the best way for success is taking risk. My arguments and reasons are listed below that will strengthen my point of view: First of all, it is axiomatic that taking risk plays a crucial role in obtaining new experiences in a spread spectrum. Trying new things will have a salient chance to us to boost our abilities in any ground. It goes without saying in such a modern world being kept up with other people is a vital issue. New experiences will guide toward sophisticated life. To elucidate, when I decided to change my major from soft ware engineering to archaeology, all people around me were opposite with me, and they believed that I could not be successful in this filed, conversely I tried to ignore them. The computer was rough for my soul and I' m looking for thing which gives me peace. During the study of archeology, I wrestled with a lot of troubles, however the skills or information which I could gain through this way, were in an honorable value and it caused me to broaden my knowledge base in a different major. The second reason why I advocate this point of view lies in the fact that an uneventful life can weaken people' s spirit. Psychological researches have recently shown that people have experienced some risks in their life, have a delightful soul than people have lived in a steady route. No one could overlook this reality that the paramount objective of taking risk is bringing the excitement to life. On the one hand, risks can change people' s life in a way that they expect; on the other one it is able to provide a delightful circumstance. I have to affirm that life is short and if we do not enjoy it, we will be as dead person who just breaths on ground without any specific performance. Having discussed this issue from this point of view, I' m going to empower it by following discussion. The risks have a noticeable effect on our fears. That is to say that the best approach for treating fears is that people meet them. For instance for a person who is afraid of height, jumping from Banji Jumping can be a useful function. By taking all above mentioned arguments into consideration, the following conclusion could be drawn about this issue. Trying new thing and taking risk can remove negative thoughts of people and creates for arriving to success through getting great experiences; hence we do not underrate power of risk.
The question is whether successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things and take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
doing what they already know how to do well. In my perspective, everyone can hold a type of approach in consideration to his vantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
usually
examine cons and pros
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
scrupulously
and then decide to select a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
or a risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In the existence these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
, I believe that one of the best way for success is taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
. My arguments and reasons
are listed
below that will strengthen my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view:

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it is axiomatic that taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
plays a crucial role in obtaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiences in a spread spectrum. Trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things will have a salient chance to us to boost our abilities in any ground. It goes without saying in such a modern world being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
up with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a vital issue.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
New
experiences will guide toward sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. To elucidate, when I decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
my major from soft ware engineering to archaeology, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around me were opposite with me, and they believed that I could not be successful in this filed,
conversely
I tried to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
them. The computer was rough for my soul and
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; m looking for thing which gives me peace. During the study of
Do not mix variants of the same word ('archeology' and 'archaeology') within a single text.
archeology
, I wrestled with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
troubles,
however
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or information which I could gain through this way, were in an honorable value and it caused me to broaden my knowledge base in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
major.

The second reason why I advocate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view lies in the fact that an uneventful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can weaken
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s spirit. Psychological researches have recently shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, have a delightful
Use "(soul)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
soul
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in a steady route. No one could overlook this reality that the paramount objective of taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
is bringing the excitement to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in a way that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
; on the other one it is able to provide a delightful circumstance. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
affirm that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is short and if we do not enjoy it, we will be as dead person who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
breaths on ground without any specific performance.

Having discussed this issue from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view,
Possible spelling mistake found.
I&
#039; m going to empower it by following discussion. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risks
have a noticeable effect on our fears.
That is
to say that the best approach for treating fears is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them.
For instance
for a person who is afraid of height, jumping from
Possible spelling mistake found.
Banji
Jumping can be a useful function.

By taking all above mentioned arguments into consideration, the following conclusion could
be drawn
about this issue. Trying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
thing and taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
can remove
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and creates for arriving to success through getting great experiences;
hence
we do not underrate power of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
risk
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay successful people try new things and take risk than only doing what they already know how to do well. v. 153

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
490 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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