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The gap between rich and poor growing what problem it creates? and what can be done to tackle them? v.1

The gap between rich and poor growing what problem it creates? and what can be done to tackle them? v. 1
It is an irrefutable fact that the gap between rich and poor families is widening all over the world. Rich people are now consuming more, while poor people have to struggle to earn a living. This essay shall discuss the problems created and possible solution. To begin with, infrastructure of the country depends on the balance between people in terms of their finances. If balanced is not achieved, then disparity is like that between skyscrapers and slums, which is not an ideal situation for all. Moreover, Another equally disturbing issue is the burgeoning rate of illiteracy because schools are occupied mainly by the kids of wealthy parents. Finally, education is inextricably linked to the economy of sovereign states. The economy of any nation, will plunge if the literacy rate decreases and vice-versa. Accordingly, the solutions for aforementioned problem are varied. Firstly, higher authority should provide a variety of schemes for low Society. Thus, they have built appropriate size of house compare to bungalow comprising of a wide range of amenities. Secondly, the government should allocate reservation for backward classes to reduce the gap in level of education. Additionally, local charities and communities should hold scholarship program so that poor people are provided with the opportunity to study. This might help with the national economy indirectly. For example, the American community, my community, has been giving some amount of money to poor pupils for the last decade towards school fees. To conclude, the line between high class family and low class family has perilous effects on the economy, infrastructure and education level. Despite that, the government and communities should overcome these hurdles and work to overcome the financial disparity among citizens.
It is an irrefutable fact that the gap between rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
families is widening all over the world. Rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
consuming more, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
struggle to earn a living. This essay shall discuss the problems created and possible solution.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, infrastructure of the country depends on the balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in terms of their finances. If balanced is not achieved, then disparity is like that between skyscrapers and slums, which is not an ideal situation for all.
Moreover
, Another
equally
disturbing issue is the burgeoning rate of illiteracy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
schools
are occupied
mainly
by the kids of wealthy parents.
Finally
, education is
inextricably
linked to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of sovereign states. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of any nation, will plunge if the literacy rate decreases and vice-versa.

Accordingly
, the solutions for aforementioned problem
are varied
.
Firstly
, higher authority should provide a variety of schemes for low Society.
Thus
, they have built appropriate size of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
compare to bungalow
Did you mean "comprising" or "consisting of"?
comprising of
a wide range of amenities.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should allocate reservation for backward classes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the gap in level of education.
Additionally
, local charities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
should hold scholarship program
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are provided
with the opportunity to study. This might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with the national
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
indirectly
.
For example
, the American
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, has been giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
pupils for the last decade towards school fees.

To conclude
, the line between high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family and low
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
family has perilous effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, infrastructure and education level. Despite that, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
should overcome these hurdles and work to overcome the financial disparity among citizens.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay The gap between rich and poor growing what problem it creates? and what can be done to tackle them? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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