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More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. v.10

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. v. 10
Many people often use personal cars as a mode of transportation. Relying completely on private cars can cause health issues like obesity, also this can be one of the reasons for global warming. This dependence on the cars can be resolved to some extent, by using public transportation and by walking to nearby places. Firstly, over dependence on private cars has resulted in obesity and global warming. In other words, there is reduced physical activity, which in turn results in gaining excess weight. Moreover, a person can become diabetic or asthmatic as a consequence of obesity. In addition, the burning of fossil fuels from these engine cars can increase the CO2 levels in the atmosphere, resulting in climatic change. For instance, there is less air pollution in Denmark and Finland, where people often rely on public transportation. Therefore, over-reliance on personal cars can have some detrimental effects on the health of an individual and the surrounding environment. Secondly, resolving these issues can be challenging because one needs to have self motivation. Using public transportation like buses and the trains can bring down the harmful effects on the environment. Further, even the sound pollution will be reduced. To cite an example, in the UK majority of the people commute to work by using the trains and tubes. Finally, walking to the nearby places will help in resolving the issues related to the over dependence on cars. In conclusion, frequent usage of private cars will not only impact the health of an individual but also affects the surrounding atmosphere. Ultimately, this can be curbed by walking often and by using public transportation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
as a mode of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
. Relying completely on private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can cause health issues like obesity,
also
this can be one of the reasons for global warming. This dependence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can
be resolved
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
and by walking to nearby places.

Firstly
, over dependence on private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
has resulted in obesity and global warming.
In other words
, there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
physical activity, which in turn results in gaining excess weight.
Moreover
, a person can become diabetic or asthmatic as a consequence of obesity.
In addition
, the burning of fossil fuels from these engine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can increase the CO2 levels in the atmosphere, resulting in climatic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
For instance
, there is less air pollution in Denmark and Finland, where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
Therefore
, over-reliance on personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental effects on the health of an individual and the surrounding environment.

Secondly
, resolving these issues can be challenging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one needs to have self motivation. Using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
like buses and the trains can bring down the harmful effects on the environment.
Further
, even the sound pollution will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. To cite an example, in the UK majority of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
commute to work by using the trains and tubes.
Finally
, walking to the nearby places will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in resolving the issues related to the over dependence on cars.

In conclusion
, frequent usage of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
impact the health of an individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
affects the surrounding atmosphere.
Ultimately
, this can
be curbed
by walking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
and by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems over-reliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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