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The consumption of the world’s resources (oil, and water etc. ) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are causes and solutions? v.3

The consumption of the world’s resources (oil, and water etc. ) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are causes and solutions? v. 3
In recent years, the consumption of the various natural resources like oil, water, mineral has reached to its peak. This essay will examine the various reasons behind it and will put forward some solutions for the same. On the one hand, the consumption has increased because of the increase in the population especially in the developing countries. For example, the rapid growth in the population of China, lead to the establishment of more industries to fulfil the need of 1. 3 billion people. In addition to it, lack of awareness in people and lax regulation by the government has contributed to over use of the renewable resources. For instance, Vietnam, which was once used to be lush green with trees and forest has converted into bare land. Although so much harm is already done by the overuse of the resources, still with a few measures, we can save them for future. The first thing that can be done is educating people by organizing various education camps. Secondly, the authorities should spend more money in the research program for alternate sources of energy. Even though it is a time consuming and lots of money is involved in this kind of researches, it will be beneficial for the nation as a whole. Last but not the least, the political authorities should follow strict rules and tax the industries which are using the finite source of energy. In conclusion, due to overpopulation and lax regulations by the government we are facing a situation of massive depletion of non renewal resources, but by controlling the population, encouraging solar and wind power and strict rules by the government will help to save the resources for the future.
In recent years, the consumption of the various natural resources like oil, water, mineral has reached to its peak. This essay will examine the various reasons behind it and will put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions for the same.

On the one hand, the consumption has increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increase in the population
especially
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.
For example
, the rapid growth in the population of China, lead to the establishment of more industries to fulfil the need of 1. 3 billion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
In addition
to it, lack of awareness in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and lax regulation by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has contributed to over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the renewable resources.
For instance
, Vietnam, which was once
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be lush green with trees and forest has converted into bare land.

Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much harm is already done by the overuse of the resources,
still
with a few measures, we can save them for future. The
first
thing that can
be done
is educating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by organizing various education camps.
Secondly
, the authorities should spend more money in the research program for alternate sources of energy.
Even though
it is a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
and lots of money
is involved
in this kind of researches, it will be beneficial for the nation as a whole. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, the political authorities should follow strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and tax the industries which are using the finite source of energy.

In conclusion
, due to overpopulation and lax regulations by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
we are facing a situation of massive depletion of non renewal resources,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by controlling the population, encouraging solar and wind power and strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save the resources for the future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay The consumption of the world’s resources (oil, and water etc. ) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are causes and solutions? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
282 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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