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Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? v.3

Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? v. 3
In this developing era, people claimed that children should work hard to achieve more. While many parents try to encourage their children and give advices, there are those putting a lot of pressure on the juveniles to be successful without caring about their hobbies. This situation is caused by many reasons and also leads to a negative effect, which will be given in this essay. Firstly, it is an obvious fact that most of guardians want their offsprings to have a better future and respect in modern life, because their children will have a good life if they can get succeed. Hence, they make the youngsters involve in many classes and courses, which provide them enough preparations related to their career. Secondly, parents, who failed to achieve their fascination to have a job with higher social class, are forcing the adolescents to follow the same dreams and push them to compete with the others. Furthermore, several consequences are caused by these decisions of parents. Because of always being under pressure, students tend to rarely feel comfortable to reach their targets. They may not put many efforts on the studies since those are preferred by their guardians, which they are not interested in them. Moreover, this will affect on their career because of the stress that their parents are responsible for. In terms of all these, parents’ pressures are surely causing a negative trend in the society. In conclusion, it is an inescapable fact that there are numerous reasons may lead to this phenomenon and badly impacts on childrens’ future. However, many people are now attempting to limit the pressure by supporting their childrens’concerns and give them advices on difficulties.
In this developing era,
people
claimed that
children
should work
hard
to achieve more. While
many
parents
try to encourage their
children
and give advices, there are those putting
a lot of
pressure
on the juveniles to be successful without caring about their hobbies. This situation
is caused
by
many
reasons and
also
leads to a
negative
effect, which will be
given
in this essay.

Firstly
, it is an obvious fact that
most of guardians
want their
offsprings
to have a better future and respect in modern life,
because
their
children
will have a
good
life if they can
get
succeed.
Hence
, they
make
the youngsters involve in
many
classes and courses, which provide them
enough
preparations related to their career.
Secondly
,
parents
, who failed to achieve their fascination to have a job with higher social
class
, are forcing the adolescents to follow the same dreams and push them to compete with the others.

Furthermore
, several consequences
are caused
by these decisions of
parents
.
Because
of
always being
under
pressure
, students tend to rarely feel comfortable to reach their targets. They may not put
many
efforts on the studies since those
are preferred
by their guardians, which they are not interested in them.
Moreover
, this will
affect
on their career
because
of the
stress
that their
parents
are responsible for. In terms of all these,
parents’
pressures
are
surely
causing a
negative
trend in the society.

In conclusion
, it is an inescapable fact that there are numerous reasons may lead to this phenomenon and
badly
impacts on
childrens
’ future.
However
,
many
people
are
now
attempting to limit the
pressure
by supporting their
childrens
’concerns and give them advices on difficulties.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
If we spoke a different language, we would perceive a somewhat different world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Nowadays parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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