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The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.20

The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 20
With a rapid growth of the human population in recent decades, there is also an increasing demand for transportation among people. Personal vehicles, which are convenient and reliable, have become one of the main transport means. From my perspective, I strongly agree that the number of personal vehicles should be limited, and other alternative transportations should be introduced. Admittedly, people rely on motorized transportation to travel. It is believed that people tend to choose the most convenient and efficient way to traveling somewhere and commuting from workplace to residence. If public transportations, such as railway, underground subway or bus services are easily accessible and economical, more people will utilize them for their own benefit. In addition, encouraging sharing cars can be a method to decrease the reliance on private vehicles. Thus, it is essential that governments invest money in improving transport systems. Turning to the other part, introducing regulations to limit the number of private cars is helpful in controlling the environment pollution and the issues of traffic congestion jams. Once government carries out this regulation, citizens with a parking spot are entitled to become the owner of the car, which will effectively cut down the number of cars on the road. In addition, raising the tax of registration of a private car or increasing the fuel price can discourage people from using a car. In this case, not only can the traffic condition be improved but also the emission of exhaust can be reduced. In conclusion, I am firm to say that both actions should be taken to deal with this issue. Only when alternative ways to travel have been formed and a strict law has been implemented, the amount of car ownership can be reduced. Otherwise, life may be tougher because of that environmental pollution and traffic blockage.
With a rapid growth of the human population in recent decades, there is
also
an increasing demand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Personal vehicles, which are convenient and reliable, have become one of the main transport means. From my perspective, I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the number of personal vehicles should
be limited
, and other alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
should
be introduced
.

Admittedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely on motorized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportation
to travel. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to choose the most convenient and efficient way to traveling somewhere and commuting from workplace to residence. If public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transportations
, such as railway, underground subway or bus services are
easily
accessible and economical, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will utilize them for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefit.
In addition
, encouraging sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
can be a method to decrease the reliance on private vehicles.
Thus
, it is essential that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
invest money in improving transport systems.

Turning to the other part, introducing regulations to limit the number of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
is helpful in controlling the environment pollution and the issues of traffic congestion jams. Once
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
carries out this regulation, citizens with a parking spot
are entitled
to become the owner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
, which will
effectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the road.
In addition
, raising the tax of registration of a private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
or increasing the fuel price can discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
.
In this case
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can the traffic condition be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the emission of exhaust can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, I am firm to say that both actions should
be taken
to deal with this issue.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
when alternative ways to travel have
been formed
and a strict law has
been implemented
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
ownership can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.
Otherwise
, life may be tougher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that environmental pollution and traffic blockage.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The first car appeared on British roads in 1888. By the year 2000 there may be as many as 29 million vehicles on British roads. Alternative forms of transport should be encouraged and international laws introduced to control car ownership and use. v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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