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People who go to live in other countries should follows the custom and tradition of the new country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

People who go to live in other countries should follows the custom and tradition of the new country. v. 1
It is undeniable that people migrate to other countries in search of a better lifestyle. However, some people contend that immigrants should adopt the cultural norms of the host country. This essay will argue why taking part in other country's traditional activities is entirely necessary despite some potential risks of being distracted from one's own culture. To begin with, to be respectable towards the cultural norms and traditional events of migrating country is an absolute imperative. Therefore, immigrants tend to choose the option to develop the understanding with the people of their current country and it could be only possible when they will create their interest among the culture and tradition of the host country. Ultimately, cultural differences could be overcome at a large extent when people start building relations with the residents of another country. Indeed, there have been some recorded instances of people who migrate from different countries of the world to the Canada have been celebrating Canada Day without any concern. These few instances make it clear that in order to survive in another country it is quite necessary to being involved in the customs of that particular country. Despite this, it is justified that to follow the other nation's culture has a myriad benefits, but at a same time one's own culture might be in the danger of extinction. Even though it is immensely considerable to attract towards the traditional activities of another country, but it is enormously required to get involved in one's own cultural roots. Because it is seen that due to the influence of other country's culture people totally abandoned their own cultural norms. For example, one research article suggests that 80% of youngsters who starts living in foreign countries totally indulge with that country's culture and considered their own traditions and culture extremely dull and boring. Overall, it is a worthwhile to preserve one's own cultural dignity while living in another country of the globe. To conclude, this essay argued that people who are in favour to be the part of another country's traditional events have an entire understanding that these participations could be fruitful for the survival in a different country. In my opinion, to be concerned towards host country's culture could insist that country's residents to develop the mutual understanding with the immigrants but one should keep their own traditional culture intact.
It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in search of a better lifestyle.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contend that immigrants should adopt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
norms of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This essay will argue why taking part in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
activities is
entirely
necessary despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of
being distracted
from one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, to be respectable towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
norms and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
of migrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is an absolute imperative.
Therefore
, immigrants tend to choose the option to develop the understanding with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and it could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible when they will create their interest among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and tradition of the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Ultimately
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
differences could
be overcome
at a large extent when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
building relations with the residents of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Indeed
, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
recorded instances of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who migrate from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of the world to the Canada have been celebrating Canada Day without any concern. These few instances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that in order to survive in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
it is quite necessary to
being involved
in the customs of that particular country.

Despite this, it
is justified
that to follow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nation's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
has a myriad benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at a same time one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
might be in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
of extinction.
Even though
it is
immensely
considerable to attract towards the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
activities of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is
enormously
required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
roots.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that due to the influence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
totally
abandoned their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
norms.
For example
, one research article suggests that 80% of youngsters who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
living in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
totally
indulge with that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and considered their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
traditions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
extremely
dull and boring.
Overall
, it is a worthwhile to preserve one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
dignity while living in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
of the globe.

To conclude
, this essay argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
to be the part of another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
have an entire understanding that these
Possible spelling mistake found.
participations
could be fruitful for the survival in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In my opinion, to
be concerned
towards host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
could insist that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country's
residents to develop the mutual understanding with the immigrants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
intact.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
48Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay People who go to live in other countries should follows the custom and tradition of the new country. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
392 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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