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TOPIC # 40 The expression “ never, never give up” means keep trying and never stop working for your goals. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

TOPIC # 40 The expression “ never, never give up” means keep trying and never stop working for your goals. v. 2
According to Edison, human’s greatest weakness lies in giving up, and the most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. I firmly believe in this expression. I feel this way because we do not know when we are about to reach our goal, we would regret about it later, and our efforts and investment would be gone for nothing. First, we never know how close we are to attain our dream. If we do believe in our dream and it is practical, we should be cautious that the only way to reach it is persistence. We might after a few attempts get disappointed and give up without realizing that we were just a step away from achieving it. To illustrate, if Edison had stopped his experiments after 999 vain tries, he would have never become able to invent the light bulb. Second, man never forgets about his failures and dreams. These regrets would stay with us for lifetime, and with observing every similar condition in other people, we would become upset about losing our opportunities and not following our dreams. For instance, one who surrenders after a few unsuccessful attempts on becoming a doctor, would feel sorry for himself every time he visit a medic. Although, he could have become a very prominent one. Third, it is better not to start our mission rather than to abandon it in the middle since it would be a huge waste of time and energy. Sometimes, we decide to accomplish one especial aim, so we plan, put a lot of effort on it, and we also spend money, however when we come across some hardships or troubles, we would be overcome with disappointment, and would simply quit. Thus, our hard work, time, and money would be gone for nothing. It is really beneficial to stick to our goal until we fulfill it. To sum it up, I think man should struggle until he attain his goal. This is because nobody knows for sure when he is going to accomplish, we would regret about our abandoned dreams later in life, and our time, money, and energy would be depleted without producing any reasonable result.
According to Edison, human’s greatest weakness lies in giving up, and the most certain way to succeed is always to try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I
firmly
believe in this expression. I feel this way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we do not know when we are about to reach our goal, we would regret about it later, and our efforts and investment would
be gone
for nothing.

First
, we never know how close we are to attain our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
. If we do believe in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dream
and it is practical, we should be cautious that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to reach it is persistence. We might after a few attempts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
disappointed and give up without realizing that we were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a step away from achieving it. To illustrate, if Edison had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
his experiments after 999 vain tries, he would have never become able to invent the light bulb.

Second,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
never forgets about his failures and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dreams
. These regrets would stay with us for lifetime, and with observing every similar condition in other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, we would become upset about losing our opportunities and not following our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dreams
.
For instance
, one who surrenders after a few unsuccessful attempts on becoming a doctor, would feel sorry for himself every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "visits", "visited".
visit
a medic.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, he could have become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
prominent one.

Third, it is better not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
our mission
rather
than to abandon it in the middle since it would be a huge waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, we decide to accomplish one especial aim,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we plan, put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
effort on it, and we
also
spend money,
however
when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hardships or troubles, we would
be overcome
with disappointment, and would
simply
quit.
Thus
, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and money would
be gone
for nothing. It is
really
beneficial to stick to our goal until we fulfill it.

To sum it up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
should struggle until he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "attains", "attained".
attain
his goal. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nobody knows for sure when he is going to accomplish, we would regret about our abandoned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dreams
later in life, and our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, money, and energy would
be depleted
without producing any reasonable result.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay TOPIC # 40 The expression “ never, never give up” means keep trying and never stop working for your goals. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
365 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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