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Exposure to international media such as films, TV and magazines has a significant impact on local cultures. What do you think has been the impact? v.1

Exposure to international media such as films, TV and magazines has a significant impact on local cultures. What do you think has been the impact? v. 1
It is certainly true that being exposed to foreign media which includes movies, TV and publications has significantly affected local cultures as evidently seen in my country, the Philippines. It greatly affected our local languages and family values. Exposure to international music, TV shows and magazines has caused a change to our local languages. By constantly listening for instance, to western songs and watching American TV series such Pretty Little Liars, people in my country have eventually adapted the European language or even an American accent. As a result, this adaptation could gradually lessen the use of our Tagalog language. However, it could also make us globally competitive especially when hardly looking for an employment internationally. As for my experience when I was looking for a nursing job in Melbourne, Australia, one of their hospitals' requirements is for me to be able to communicate English in advanced level. Also, constant exposure to foreign media has caused a considerable impact on family values. For instance, my country is a very conservative nation. Reserved people here strongly disregard sex before marriage, but because of foreign cultures regard this unacceptable notion as acceptable and obviously shown in American and western films, Filipinos tend to do so. This leads to the negative influence of my country's family culture. In conclusion, I think that there are benefits and drawbacks brought to local cultures by international media, but I cannot deny the fact that because of these foreign sources of information, I have learned a lot, most especially English language. So I certainly believe that there are more positive effects of these global media than the negative ones.
It is
certainly
true that
being exposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
which includes movies, TV and publications has
significantly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
cultures as
evidently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in my country, the Philippines. It
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
and family values.

Exposure to international music, TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and magazines has caused a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
. By
constantly
listening
for instance
, to western songs and watching American TV series such Pretty
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Little
Liars,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in my country have
eventually
adapted the European
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
or even an American accent.
As a result
, this adaptation could
gradually
lessen the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of our Tagalog
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
However
, it could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us globally competitive
especially
when hardly looking for an employment
internationally
. As for my experience when I was looking for a nursing job in Melbourne, Australia, one of their hospitals' requirements is for me to be able to communicate English in advanced level.

Also
, constant exposure to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has caused a considerable impact on family values.
For instance
, my country is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
conservative nation. Reserved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
here
strongly
disregard sex
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
marriage,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
cultures regard this unacceptable notion as acceptable and
obviously
shown in American and western films, Filipinos tend to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. This leads to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence of my country's family culture.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are benefits and drawbacks brought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
cultures by international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I cannot deny the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
sources of information, I have learned a lot, most
especially
English
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
certainly
believe that there are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of these global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
ones.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Exposure to international media such as films, TV and magazines has a significant impact on local cultures. What do you think has been the impact? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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