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The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority today. v.5

The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority today. v. 5
It is undeniable that the human kind is proliferating uncontrollably, by depleting natural resources and damaging our sole home, like bacteria do in the petri dish. Fossil fuels are, without any doubt, one of our biggest problems since they are the main reason for the air pollution and the hole in ozone layer. It has been suggested that safe alternatives should be explored and developed and  totally agree with this view. With the advances in technology and globalisation, the need for mobility and fossil fuels in increased. Cars, buses, planes, ships; every link that connects us with the rest of the world consumes fossil fuels. As a result of this, air pollution has reached to unprecedented levels and lung cancer cases have risen so much that one day they will surpass flu cases. And even worse, we are polluting the world's air and water resources and soon it is predicted the wars will be made for water. We have even made a hole in the ozone layer and we are now less defenceless to ultraviolet rays of the sun and possible asteroid crashes. We are bringing our ends with our own hands. These problems, however, can be overcome by opting alternative sources. We can attain the same amount of energy by using natural sources solely. We can use solar panels, for instance, for brought heating and vehicles that work with electricity. There is no waste, no pollutant; there is only pure energy. Another alternative would be that to recycle our wastes to produce energy. For example, Switzerland is one successful pioneer that produces nearly forty percent of its energy need from home wastes by processing them in sophisticated recycling centres. In another category, some experiments have shown that waste olive oils can be used in cars efficiently. With further exploration, new safe alternative energy models can be developed for every aspect of life. My personal view is that governments should subsidise for alternative energy sources before it is too late for the world, rather that finding new homes in the space.
It is undeniable that the human kind is proliferating
uncontrollably
, by depleting natural resources and damaging our sole home, like bacteria do in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
petri
dish. Fossil fuels are, without any doubt, one of our biggest problems since they are the main reason for the air pollution and the hole in ozone layer. It has
been suggested
that safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternatives
should
be explored
and developed and
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view.

With the advances in technology and
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, the need for mobility and fossil fuels in increased. Cars, buses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
, ships; every link that connects us with the rest of the world consumes fossil fuels.
As a result
of this, air pollution has reached to unprecedented levels and lung cancer cases have risen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that one day they will surpass flu cases. And even worse, we are polluting the world's air and water resources and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
it
is predicted
the wars will
be made
for water. We have even made a hole in the ozone
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
layer and
we are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
less
Possible spelling mistake found.
defenceless
to ultraviolet rays of the sun and possible asteroid crashes. We are bringing our ends with our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
hands.

These problems,
however
, can
be overcome
by opting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
sources. We can attain the same amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
by using natural sources
solely
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
solar panels,
for instance
, for brought heating and vehicles that work with electricity. There is no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
, no pollutant; there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
would be that to recycle our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wastes
to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
.
For example
, Switzerland is one successful pioneer that produces
nearly
forty percent of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
need from home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wastes
by processing them in sophisticated recycling
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. In another category,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experiments have shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waste
olive oils can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in cars
efficiently
. With
further
exploration, new safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
models can
be developed
for every aspect of life.

My personal view is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidise' is British English.
subsidise
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
sources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
it is too late for the world,
rather
that finding new homes in the space.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority today. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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