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The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority today. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer v.1

The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority today. 1
Technological improvements affect our lives in tremendous ways. Each designed car model increase safety standard and reduce fuel requirement per mile. But, unfortunately, each created device affects nature atrociously because of fossil fuel usage. This essay is about possible opportunities of alternative energy and why it needs to be taken care of. First of all, the main reason why the alternative energy is needed to be prioritised is global warming. It has become a serious concern in the world and the underlying reason for this happening is carbon dioxide emission. Reduction of this perilous emission of carbon dioxide could put us one step ahead and the easiest way to reach this goal is the use of alternative energy in our daily life for different reasons such as driving cars, flying planes and to run heaters. Secondly, fossil fuel plants collect limited source which will be depleted eventually. Due to this fact, it is the most expensive energy source for today and will be in the future until its extinction. Also, anyone who wants to collect fuel should build expensive plants and as a result of this sector is controlled by big companies that are known as main subsidises and profiteers of wars. Furthermore, economic effects of fuel make world peace nearly impossible. Many wars erupt because of this material most people concern that "World War III" will strike because of it. On the other hand, safe alternative energy receives its power from nature. Such as, hydropower plants, solar power farms and wind power tribunes. Because of these, possibilities of this limitless power are way too higher than fossil fuel. Also, anyone who wants to collect one of these powers only needs to build the corresponding facility on his area and if produced power is higher than his requirement he could even sell it to the government regarding the newly approved bill. In conclusion, usage of this limitless power will definitely take a great part of our future and because of its possibilities, governments should pay more attention.
Technological improvements affect our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in tremendous ways. Each designed car model increase safety standard and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
requirement per mile.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, unfortunately, each created device affects nature
atrociously
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
usage. This essay is about possible opportunities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
and why it needs to
be taken
care of.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the main reason why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
is needed
to be
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritised' is British English.
prioritised
is global warming. It has become a serious concern in the world and the underlying reason for this happening is carbon dioxide emission. Reduction of this perilous emission of carbon dioxide could put us one step ahead and the easiest way to reach this goal is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in our daily life for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons such as driving cars, flying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
and to run heaters.

Secondly
, fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
plants collect limited source which will
be depleted
eventually
. Due to this fact, it is the most expensive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
source for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and will be in the future until its extinction.
Also
, anyone who wants to collect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
should build expensive plants and
as a result
of this sector
is controlled
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
that
are known
as main
Possible spelling mistake. 'subsidises' is British English.
subsidises
and profiteers of wars.
Furthermore
, economic effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
world peace
nearly
impossible.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
wars erupt
because of this
material most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
concern that
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
World War III
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
will strike
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it.

On the other hand
, safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
receives its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
from nature. Such as, hydropower plants, solar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
farms and wind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
tribunes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these, possibilities of this limitless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
are way
The word 'to' seems to be wrong here.
too higher
than fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
.
Also
, anyone who wants to collect one of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
powers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
needs to build the corresponding facility on his area and if produced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
is higher than his requirement he could even sell it to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
regarding the
newly
approved bill.

In conclusion
, usage of this limitless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
will definitely take a great part of our future and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its possibilities,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should pay more attention.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay The exploration and development of safe alternatives to fossil fuels should be the most important global priority today. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
337 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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