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Most of the children these days are spending there time playing computer games and spend less time playing outside sports. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development. v.1

Most of the children these days are spending there time playing computer games and spend less time playing outside sports. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development. v. 1
In recent times, children tend to spend more tune indulging in digital based games and spend less pace playing outdoor sporting activities. Although, it happens because, they have little or no space for outdoor sports, which, should be seen as an adverse development because it is detrimental to their fitness A growing number of children are now lazy, preferring to spend the bulk of space on computer games. One reason for this is that they are not motivated to get involved in outdoor games because they feel the activities is strenuous, and will tend to utilize their moment engaging in less stressful acts like analog games which require little or no energy, and makes them creative. For example, the researchers of a study hypothesized that playing video games help to stimulate the brain, gives a child's sense of competence. Therefore, due to loss of interest, children resort to computer games. Children dedicating most of their time in video games have negative consequences as it affects their health. This is because, physical activity is an essential requirement for healthy living, considering the fact that it helps to burn fat and reducing the risk if coming down with hypertension and lack of it as seen in people living sedentary lifestyles. For instance, obesity has been found to be prevalent in people, especially children who do not take part in the exercise. Therefore, engaging in physical activity is paramount in living a healthy life. In conclusion, children increasingly prefer computer games to engaging in outdoor games. This essay discussed that a lack of interest is a major reason for this and the essay also indicated that the pattern has a detrimental effect on their health, therefore children should be encouraged to get involved in health.
In recent times,
children
tend to spend more tune indulging in digital based
games
and spend less pace playing
outdoor
sporting
activities
. Although, it happens
because
, they have
little
or no space for
outdoor
sports, which, should be
seen
as an adverse development
because
it is detrimental to their fitness

A growing number of
children
are
now
lazy, preferring to spend the bulk of space on computer
games
. One reason for this is that they are not motivated to
get
involved in
outdoor
games
because
they feel the
activities
is strenuous, and will tend to utilize their moment engaging in less stressful acts like analog
games
which require
little
or no energy, and
makes
them creative.
For example
, the researchers of a study hypothesized that playing video
games
help
to stimulate the brain, gives a child's sense of competence.
Therefore
, due to loss of interest,
children
resort to computer games.

Children dedicating most of their time in video
games
have
negative
consequences as it affects their health. This is
because
, physical
activity
is an essential requirement for healthy living, considering the fact that it
helps
to burn
fat
and reducing the
risk
if coming down with hypertension and lack of it as
seen
in
people
living sedentary lifestyles.
For instance
, obesity has
been found
to be prevalent in
people
,
especially
children
who do not
take part
in the exercise.
Therefore
, engaging in physical
activity
is paramount in living a healthy life.

In conclusion
,
children
increasingly
prefer computer
games
to engaging in
outdoor
games
. This essay discussed that a lack of interest is a major reason for this and the essay
also
indicated that the pattern has a detrimental effect on their health,
therefore
children
should
be encouraged
to
get
involved in health.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Most of the children these days are spending there time playing computer games and spend less time playing outside sports. Why is this happening? Is this a positive or negative development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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