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The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. To what extent do you agree v.2

The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. 2
Education is pivotal for the youngster in all countries across the globe. According to some, adults who are not able to read and write should be educated which is vital for the society and more financial support should be provided for them. I strongly agree that education is the right of every individual and should be enhanced in a proper way. Quality education with proper training should be given in every schools, colleges and university to facilitate the students because education teaches us to distinguish between good or bad, right or wrong etc. Moreover, it develops a sense of leadership, personal growth and reflects our personality and behaviour. Furthermore, education is the backbone of a country’s development as if a country is lacking from good education infrastructure, it is very difficult to complete the race of an economic progress with other nations. For example, the literacy rate in Pakistan is 40% due to the improper plans and developments in education in rural areas. It is our first and foremost duty to provide better education to those people who cannot read or write. They should be treated the same as others. The culture of discrimination and racisms should be dying out in every country as it shows a positive sign of the country’s evaluation. In addition, more funds should be allotted and more modifications in the studies should be made for these people. For instance, Darul-sukoon is the leading special training care for disabled people in Pakistan funded by many organizations to accommodate the best facilities for their well-renowned education structure and future career perspective. To recapitulate, I believe that education should be free for all so it can be easily accessible by poor people who are not able to afford the high fees of the institutions. There should be certain enhancements in an education plan for adults to testify their skills and try to give more confidence because these youngsters are the pride of our county and serve it at different positions.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is pivotal for the youngster in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
across the globe. According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, adults who are not able to read and write should
be educated
which is vital for the society and more financial support should
be provided
for them. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the right of every individual and should
be enhanced
Consider replacing "in a proper way" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper way
.

Quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
with proper training should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "school"?
schools
, colleges and university to facilitate the students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
teaches us to distinguish between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, right or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
etc.
Moreover
, it develops a sense of leadership, personal growth and reflects our personality and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the backbone of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
development as if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is lacking from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
infrastructure, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to complete the race of
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "economic progress".
an economic progress
with other nations.
For example
, the literacy rate in Pakistan is 40% due to the improper plans and developments in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in rural areas.

It is our
first
and foremost duty to provide better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who cannot read or write. They should
be treated
the same as others. The culture of discrimination and
Possible spelling mistake found.
racisms
should be dying out in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
evaluation.
In addition
, more funds should
be allotted
and more modifications in the studies should
be made
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Darul-sukoon
is the leading special training care for disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Pakistan funded by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
organizations to accommodate the best facilities for their well-renowned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
structure and future career perspective.

To recapitulate, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should be free for all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can be
easily
accessible by poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not able to afford the high fees of the institutions. There should be certain enhancements in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
plan for adults to testify their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and try to give more confidence
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these youngsters are the pride of our county and serve it at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
positions.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay The education of young people is the main priority in countries around the world. Some people believe that educating adults who cannot read or write is essential for the society and more funding should be made available for it. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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