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The different between other countries is less than before because people can consume the same goods anywhere in the world. v.1

The different between other countries is less than before because people can consume the same goods anywhere in the world. v. 1
The difference between other countries is less than before, because people can consume the same goods anywhere in the world. In my opinion, this is the positive development because consumers can have an opportunity to use products from foreign countries to improve quality of their life and this can drive the world economy. Initially, consumers have an opportunity to use quality product from foreign countries. Improving the quality of people life is caused by improving the quality of product that they use. If people in developing countries can buy high technology equipments from other countries, they have a chance to use technology for developing people’s life. Thailand can import a lot of equipments of 3G and 4G technology from other countries and use it to develop communication system for people in the country, for example. The globalization business can drive the world economy. When have an international trade, cycle of money will flow around the world and this is the benefit to the government. The government will receive many tax from international trade and use it to develop the country. Thailand received a lot of tax from exportation in recent year, for instance, this make Thailand government can spend this money on infrastructure development. In conclusion, when people can buy the same products anywhere in the world and countries are more similar, it is a positive development of human community. I am convinced consumers can have an opportunity to use product from foreign countries to improve quality of their life and this can drive the world economy.
The difference between other
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countries
is less than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can consume the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
anywhere in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. In my opinion, this is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
consumers can have an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
from foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and this can drive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
economy.

Initially
, consumers have an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
from foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is caused
by improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
high technology equipments from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, they have a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology for developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Thailand can import
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
equipments of 3G and 4G technology from other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to develop communication system for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
for example
.

The globalization business can drive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
economy. When have an international trade, cycle of money will flow around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and this is the benefit to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
will receive
Possible agreement error. The noun tax seems to be countable; consider using: "many taces", "many taxes".
many tax
from international trade and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Thailand received
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tax from exportation in recent year,
for instance
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Thailand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can spend this money on infrastructure development.

In conclusion
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
anywhere in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are more similar, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development of human community. I
am convinced
consumers can have an opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
from foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and this can drive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
economy.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The different between other countries is less than before because people can consume the same goods anywhere in the world. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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