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More and more people are choosing to consume ready to eat food rather than cooking the food themselves. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. v.2

More and more people are choosing to consume ready to eat food rather than cooking the food themselves. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. v. 2
Recently, it has been observed that numerous people across the world, especially in the urban areas where people are living sedentary lives are dependent on the ready made eatables. Although, it saves some hours, but there are many cons of this food as well. In this essay, I intend to delve into the advantages and disadvantages of the ready made products. First of all, in the metros where both husband and wife are working, it becomes difficult for them to find the time for vegetable preparation as they have to get the kids off the bed and make them ready for the school and then they have to get ready for the office, as most offices generally start as early as 8: 00 AM leaving with them no time for eatables preparation. Hence, Ready to eat food aids them in many ways, as it is ready to cook and takes only few minutes to get ready. Secondly, it takes away the gender stereotype as it is very easy to cook. Then, it also, solve the problems of storage as these eatables normally have a long shelf life. Another benefit of ready to eat food is spending quality time with the family members in today's fast-paced life which otherwise got wasted in cooking. However, there are many disadvantages of the packaged products, as these come with a long shelf life, hence it contains many preservatives, which is not good for health. Secondly, people are deprived of the fresh food which is very essential for human body, as packaged items have cooked and packaged a long ago. Then, there is a risk of deadly disease like cancer as most packaged products are wrapped either in a plastic or foil which are considered dangerous for health. Finally, it increases the monthly budget, as most ready made foods are costly as compared to the own cooked food. To conclude, although, packaged food comes out to be a handy option for the people in urban areas where both husband and wife are working in terms of time saving, but the disadvantages are more as compared to the benefits.
Recently, it has
been observed
that numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
across the world,
especially
in the urban areas where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living sedentary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are dependent on the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ready made
eatables. Although, it saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hours,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cons of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as well
. In this essay, I intend to delve into the advantages and disadvantages of the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ready made
products.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in the metros where both husband and wife are working, it becomes difficult for them to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for vegetable preparation as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the kids off the bed and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ready
for the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
school and
then they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ready
for the office, as most offices
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
as early as 8: 00 AM leaving with them no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for eatables preparation.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Ready
to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
aids them in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways, as it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ready
to cook and takes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few minutes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ready
.
Secondly
, it takes away the gender stereotype as it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy to cook. Then, it
also
, solve the problems of storage as these eatables
normally
have a long shelf life. Another benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ready
to eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is spending quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with the family members in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-paced life which
otherwise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
wasted in cooking.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaged
products, as these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with a long shelf life,
hence
it contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
preservatives, which is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are deprived
of the fresh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essential for human body, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaged
items have cooked and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaged
a long ago. Then, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of deadly disease like cancer as most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaged
products
are wrapped
either in a plastic or foil which
are considered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for health.
Finally
, it increases the monthly budget, as most
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ready made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are costly as compared to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cooked food.

To conclude
, although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
packaged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
out to be a handy option for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in urban areas where both husband and wife are working in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
saving,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the disadvantages are more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
as
compared to the benefits.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people are choosing to consume ready to eat food rather than cooking the food themselves. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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