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More and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? what are the possible solutions? v.3

More and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? what are the possible solutions? v. 3
In recent days, we can find a remarkable increase in conflict among the youngsters for the similar type of jobs. There are many reasons for the rise of these circumstances which will be discussed along with some solution in the remaining part of the essay. The over population in a country can be figured out to be one of the major problems resulting in a high competition among youngsters. Every year, with the increase in the number of graduates, their demand in the industry gets decreased. There are a few people who get into another domain to keep themselves engaged with any job but in vain. While others keep trying even with the small opportunities they are provided in their field of interest. The country's economic side is deeply affected by the prevailing unemployment condition which has to be rectified. The other problem arises due to the inaccurate decision of the students regarding their undergraduate studies. They fail to make a deep analysis regarding the scope and demand for a subject in the particular area in which they are willing to pursue, ultimately resulting in the lack of employment or less conflict in the field that has a low requirement. Here arises the rivalry between the freshers and the experienced, where only few opportunities are provided to the former one. In order to avoid these type of circumstances, one must make a prior study and analysis on the subject which he is interested to study. It can result in reduced competition and increased opportunity for everyone irrespective of their prior experience.
In recent days, we can find a remarkable increase in conflict among the youngsters for the similar type of jobs. There are
many
reasons for the rise of these circumstances which will
be discussed
along with
some
solution in the remaining part of the essay.

The over population in a country can
be figured
out to be one of the major problems resulting in a high competition among youngsters. Every year, with the increase in the number of graduates, their demand in the industry
gets
decreased. There are a few
people
who
get
into another domain to
keep
themselves engaged with any job
but
in vain.
While
others
keep
trying even with the
small
opportunities they
are provided
in their field of interest. The country's economic side is
deeply
affected
by the prevailing unemployment condition which
has to
be rectified
.

The other problem arises due to the inaccurate decision of the students regarding their undergraduate studies. They fail to
make
a deep analysis regarding the scope and demand for a subject in the particular area in which they are willing to pursue,
ultimately
resulting in the lack of employment or less conflict in the field that has a low requirement. Here arises the rivalry between the freshers and the experienced, where
only
few opportunities
are provided
to the former one.

In order to avoid these type of circumstances, one
must
make
a prior study and analysis on the subject which he
is interested
to study. It can result in
reduced
competition and increased opportunity for everyone irrespective of their prior experience.
0Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people have to compete with young people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause? what are the possible solutions? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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