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The diagrams below show the water supply system in Australia at present and in future Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features v.1

The diagrams below show the water supply system in Australia at present and in future
Private car owners are increasing dramatically, because four wheelers provide humans round the clock mobility, flexibility and comforts. In spite of its various benefits, an easy availability of car loans is also responsible in an increasing number of cars. However, it has several detrimental effects on the environment as well as the life style of people. This essay is an attempt to illustrate issues, causing by this new trend and provides some possible solutions. First and foremost, a number of cars, certainly causes the traffic congestion on roads, which increases the chances of accidents and in severe cases, the injured ones may lose their lives. Secondly, it is a well known fact that, we are running out of the non-renewable resources, such as fuels. If this continues, our posterity may not be able to use the precious resources. Thirdly, an increased emission of fumes by cars, adds harmful gases, such as the Carbon Dioxide into the atmosphere and pollute the environment heavily. And by inhaling such polluted air, humans may suffer from several deceases related to respiratory systems. So, controlling these harmful effects, becomes mandatory now. Increasing fuel prices, is the most effective solution. The skyrocketing in prices makes the nosedive in the number of cars on the roads. Subsequently, it is also beneficial to save fuel. Another solution is, there must be a stringent guidelines to limit the number of cars in the nation. For example, in Singapore, the maximum limit of cars, allowed in the nation annually, is fifty thousands only. So that, it can reduce the traffic on the roads and save the environment as well. To conclude, an enormous number of increasing use of four wheelers can only do more harm than good. So, it is the responsibility of both, people and an authority, to take it seriously and try to reduce the use of private cars.
Private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
dramatically
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
four
Possible spelling mistake found.
wheelers
provide humans round the clock mobility, flexibility and comforts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
its various benefits, an easy availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
loans is
also
responsible in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
However
, it has several detrimental effects on the environment
as well
as the life style of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. This essay is an attempt to illustrate issues, causing by this new trend and provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible solutions.

First
and foremost, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
certainly
causes the traffic congestion on roads, which increases the chances of accidents and in severe cases, the injured ones may lose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Secondly
, it is a well known fact that, we are running out of the non-renewable resources, such as fuels. If this continues, our posterity may not be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the precious resources.
Thirdly
, an increased emission of fumes by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
harmful gases, such as the Carbon Dioxide into the atmosphere and pollute the environment
heavily
. And by inhaling such polluted air, humans may suffer from several deceases related to respiratory systems.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, controlling these harmful effects, becomes mandatory
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Increasing
fuel prices, is the most effective solution. The skyrocketing in prices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the nosedive in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the roads.
Subsequently
, it is
also
beneficial to save fuel. Another solution is, there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a stringent
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "guideline"?
guidelines
to limit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
in the nation.
For example
, in Singapore, the maximum limit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
in the nation
annually
, is fifty thousands
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic on the roads and save the environment
as well
.

To conclude
, an enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of four
Possible spelling mistake found.
wheelers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is the responsibility of both,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and an authority, to take it
seriously
and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay The diagrams below show the water supply system in Australia at present and in future

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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