Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The diagram below show how a solar powered water pump works. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features and, make comparisons where relevant. v.1

The diagram below show how a solar powered water pump works.
Although many governments and large companies have contributed in improving or making changes in our environment, but that does not mean individuals can do nothing about it. In other words, I disagree with the statements. The main reason why is that nowadays there are a lot of minor people who also contribute in improving by teaching the next generations, creating new things, reducing the usage of irrelevant things, and so on. There are several examples as of why I disagree. We all know that nowadays people are very addicted to their smart phones, gadgets, etc. , especially when it comes to social media. By having social media, people can share whatever they want to and view each other's post. Recently, the trend of posting story in Instagram is becoming bigger and bigger, especially when it is about our environment. To illustrate, there was an account who posted about fire in the Amazon, North America, the lungs of our world. Their intention as of why they shared is to make other people aware of the climate change. As a result, people become more aware of the situations. Another example is that there was a post about a turtle whose nose was full of trash. Not only the turtle but also other sea-animals that are living under the sea. As a result, many people start to reduce by using any kinds of plastic like plastic bag, straw, etc. Moreover, there are some people who create a re-useable stainless straw for them to drink. To conclude, even if it is just a small step, but individuals can do something to improve and make differences in our environment.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and large
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have contributed in improving or making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in our environment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that does not mean individuals can do nothing about it.
In other words
, I disagree with the statements. The main reason why is that nowadays there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
also
contribute in improving by teaching the
next
generations, creating new things, reducing the usage of irrelevant things, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. There are several examples as of why I disagree.

We all know that nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
addicted to their smart phones, gadgets, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
especially
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to social media. By having social media,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can share whatever they want to and view each other's post. Recently, the trend of posting story in Instagram is becoming bigger and bigger,
especially
when it is about our environment. To illustrate, there was an account who posted about fire in the Amazon, North America, the lungs of our world. Their intention as of why they shared is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware of the climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more aware of the situations.

Another example is that there was a post about a turtle whose nose was full of trash. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the turtle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
other sea-animals that are living under the sea.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
by using any kinds of plastic like plastic bag, straw, etc.
Moreover
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who create a re-useable stainless straw for them to drink.

To conclude
, even if it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
step,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
individuals can do something to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
differences in our environment.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The diagram below show how a solar powered water pump works.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts