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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement that all children under age of 16 should attend school. Explain your answer in details. v.1

that all children under age of 16 should attend school. Explain your answer in details. v. 1
Task 2: It is true that in recent times, lawlessness amongst young people is on the rise in the world. There are varieties of factors responsible for this, but steps can be taken to reverse this trend. There are three major causes of the increased juvenile offences. Firstly, parental issues such as, domestic violence and lack of communication, can have negative impacts on the young adult. If unfortunate, the individual can seek solace with bad-eggs in the society and adopt similar behaviours leading to crime. Secondly, the promotion of violent behaviours and hooliganism in the media through movies, music videos and lyrical content can influence adolescents negatively and lead to violence. Finally, lenient punishment in schools is also a reason the rate of young offenders is on the high. Modern school spare the rod and this make students have little regard for the law. The statistics of increased crime involving teenagers can certainly be curbed. Parents should seek counselling on the impact of their actions on the mindset of adolescents. They should also improve communication with their children in order to understand their challenges and proffer solutions. Also, the media and celebrities should promote positive information and content to motivate young persons. For example, most stars are used as ambassadors by security agencies to showcase success stories not attached to criminality. Teachers should be more discipline with their students by giving appropriate punishments for offences so they imbibe the culture that; actions have consequences. In conclusion, the rate of teenage offenders will continue to increase rapidly unless the parents, media and teachers communicate better and promote positive behaviours.
Task 2:

It is true that in recent times, lawlessness amongst
young
people
is
on the rise in the world. There are varieties of factors responsible for this,
but
steps can
be taken
to reverse this trend.

There are three major causes of the increased juvenile
offences
.
Firstly
, parental issues such as, domestic violence and lack of communication, can have
negative
impacts on the
young
adult. If unfortunate, the individual can seek solace with
bad
-eggs in the society and adopt similar
behaviours
leading to crime.
Secondly
, the promotion of violent
behaviours
and hooliganism in the media through movies, music videos and lyrical content can influence adolescents
negatively
and lead to violence.
Finally
, lenient punishment in schools is
also
a reason the rate of
young
offenders is on the high. Modern school spare the rod and this
make
students have
little
regard for the law.

The statistics of increased crime involving
teenagers
can
certainly
be curbed
. Parents should seek counselling on the impact of their actions on the mindset of adolescents. They should
also
improve
communication with their children in order to understand their challenges and proffer solutions.
Also
, the media and celebrities should promote
positive
information and content to motivate
young
persons.
For example
, most stars are
used
as ambassadors by security agencies to showcase success stories not attached to criminality. Teachers should be more discipline with their students by giving appropriate punishments for offences
so
they imbibe the culture that; actions have consequences.

In conclusion
, the rate of teenage offenders will continue to increase
rapidly
unless the parents, media and teachers communicate better and promote
positive
behaviours
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay that all children under age of 16 should attend school. Explain your answer in details. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
268 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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