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The development of tourism contributes to English becoming the most prominent language in the world some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globallyWhat are the advantages and disadvantages to having one langua v.1

The development of tourism contributes to English becoming the most prominent language in the world some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globallyWhat are the advantages and disadvantages to having one langua v. 1
Crime has been a common issue in any society. Some people believe that this problem can be tackled properly if both government and public share joint responsibility. Meanwhile, others think that there will never be a “so-called” crime-free society, of which I am more in favour. The following essay will discuss both views and explain why I support the later one. On the one hand, those who harbour the view that crime can be completely eliminated believe that people commit crimes due to the adverse situations they go through. These events can be solved if criminals are consulted and given opportunities to get back to the right path. For example, some prisons in Vietnam provide their prisoner with vocational courses to help them learn basic skills of certain jobs such as carpenters and the prison can follow this occupation after being released. In addition, a crime-free society is achievable if individuals understand and accept their responsibility for their actions while the government works harder on stricter regulations to ensure a more secured society. However, I side with the opinion that crime cannot be abolished totally from human life because the causes of wrongdoings are complex. If poverty, drug and alcohol, which were among main attributors of people to take illegal acts, have been controlled to a certain degree, low self-esteem, parental neglect and social pressure can be connected to why people break the law. Society is getting more complicated and stressful, giving rise to serious psychological and mental problems of humans such as depression and antisocial disorder. Those with these problems are more likely to be engaged in different wrongdoings and this can explain why some mass shooting events have happened in the USA in the past few years. Since human beings never get rid of their dark sides or break free from those pressures, the unlawful acts cannot be stopped. Furthermore, some governments are not responsive enough in dealing with more diversified crimes in the current world, resulting in crime still being one of serious social problems. To conclude, criminal offence is a part of every community, no matter how hard its government and citizens try to solve. However, this problem can be reduced and controlled if people are mindful of their responsibilities and governments have proactive and appropriate prevention methods to cope with.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crime
has been a common issue in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can
be tackled
properly
if both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and public share joint responsibility. Meanwhile, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there will never be a “
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called” crime-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, of which I am more in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
. The following essay will discuss both views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I support the later one.

On the one hand, those who
Possible spelling mistake. 'harbour' is British English.
harbour
the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can be completely eliminated believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
due to the adverse situations they go through. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
can
be solved
if criminals
are consulted
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back to the right path.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prisons in Vietnam provide their prisoner with vocational courses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them learn basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of certain jobs such as carpenters and the prison can follow this occupation after
being released
.
In addition
, a crime-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
is achievable if individuals understand and accept their responsibility for their actions while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
works harder on stricter regulations to ensure a more secured society.

However
, I side with the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
cannot
be abolished
totally
from human life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the causes of wrongdoings are complex. If poverty, drug and alcohol, which were among main
Possible spelling mistake found.
attributors
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to take illegal acts, have
been controlled
to a certain degree, low self-esteem, parental neglect and social pressure can
be connected
to why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
break the law.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Society
is getting more complicated and stressful, giving rise to serious psychological and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of humans such as depression and antisocial disorder. Those with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
are more likely to
be engaged
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
wrongdoings and this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
mass shooting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
have happened in the USA in the past few years. Since human beings never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of their dark sides or break free from those pressures, the unlawful acts cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are not responsive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in dealing with more diversified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world, resulting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
still
being one of serious social problems.

To conclude
, criminal
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
is a part of every community, no matter how
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and citizens try to solve.
However
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and controlled if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are mindful of their responsibilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have proactive and appropriate prevention methods to cope with.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay The development of tourism contributes to English becoming the most prominent language in the world some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globallyWhat are the advantages and disadvantages to having one langua v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
385 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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