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The development of tourism contributed English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world? v.1

The development of tourism contributed English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world? v. 1
In the world, the most significant language has been becoming English due to it’s the contributions to the development of tourism. Some people believe that in the future the only globally language to speak among people will be English. Although speaking only one language provides communication easier among people and makes people more confident while abroad, it causes people to lose their language and removes people's private communications. The greatest benefit of speaking only one language around the world is that people can communicate with anyone without any restrictions and makes them more confident while abroad. Being in another country requires people to push themselves to speak a new language to sustain their life requirements. For instance, when I was in Turkey, I was anxious due to my lost luggage, and I couldn't explain myself because of not knowing Turkish. If the Turks knew English, I wouldn’t have faced such a situation. Despite these benefits, speaking only one language around the world is that people may lose their language and removes people’s private communications. Being integrated with other countries by speaking the same language, after a while it causes new generations won’t learn their language from their parents. Also, in business life, people will be struggling to make a private speech. Therefore, the language, which they have, will not exist and nobody may make a business anymore. For example, when I was in China, I could easily to discuss with my colleagues in the meeting because no one knows my language in the room. Thus, sometimes it’s good to be private and having own culture. In conclusion, English is the most important language with its contributions to tourism in the world. While ones believe that English will be the global language between people. Though English ensures easy communication and gives people more confidence, it also leads to people to lose their language and restricts people's private speeches.
In the
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world
, the most significant
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language
has been becoming English due to
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it’s
the contributions to the development of tourism.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
believe that in the future the
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only
globally
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language
to speak among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be English. Although speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
provides communication easier among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more confident while abroad, it causes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to lose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and removes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
communications.

The greatest benefit of speaking
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only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can communicate with anyone without any restrictions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
them more confident while abroad. Being in another country requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to push themselves to speak a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
to sustain their life requirements.
For instance
, when I was in Turkey, I was anxious due to my lost luggage, and I couldn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
myself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not knowing Turkish. If the Turks knew English, I wouldn’t have faced such a situation.

Despite these benefits, speaking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may lose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and removes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
communications.
Being integrated
with other countries by speaking the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, after a while it causes new generations won’t learn their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
from their parents.
Also
, in business life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be struggling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
speech.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, which they have, will not exist and nobody may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a business anymore.
For example
, when I was in China, I could
easily
to discuss with my colleagues in the meeting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no one knows my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
in the room.
Thus
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
and having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture.

In conclusion
, English is the most
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important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
with its contributions to tourism in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
ones believe that English will be the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Though English ensures easy communication and gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more confidence, it
also
leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to lose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and restricts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
speeches.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay The development of tourism contributed English becoming the most prominent language in the world. Some people think this will lead to English becoming the only language to be spoken globally. What are the advantages and disadvantages to having one language in the world? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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