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Should International news be kept as a subject in secondary school. Discuss both sides. v.1

Should International news be kept as a subject in secondary school. v. 1
Several initiatives are taken on improvement of education patterns were introduced international news can be an important step, but it may invite along the debate due to its cons and pros. Education department needs to be conscious of making any changes as they need to analyse the benefits. Here, keeping international news in the curriculum of secondary school can fetch several benefits. Due to its audio visual involvement. It can develop interest in students as it will be different from their regular curriculum. As news will be involved, students can remain updated with current affairs of various sectors which can work towards their overall department. Any development or invention related to technology or therapeutic services would be on their tips and about all the happenings they would be well aware of. This can also boost their confidence in group talks as they would be aware of the reality in different sectors. Along with the side benefits, there can be several disadvantages related to the international news being kept as a subject. Firstly, It will be an additional burden of a subject not only for the subjects but also for the schools, adequate infrastructure has to be provided an each classroom, which can be an extra investment, whereas they also need to hire qualified professional from the media who can place and teach the analytical view of a particular news which can be a high cost to the school. Others than this designing examination pattern can be difficult, as this subject does not confine to a particular syllabus or fixed content. Moreover, there cannot be a control on the display of violence or they broadcast of unethical views which is common in international news channels and that can severely disturb the mentality of the student. In conclusion, it can be seen that the disadvantages and its impact seriously overweights it is possible advantages.
Several initiatives
are taken
on improvement of education patterns
were introduced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can be an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
step,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it may invite along the debate due to its cons and pros.

Education department needs to be conscious of making any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
as they need to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the benefits. Here, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in the curriculum of secondary school can fetch several benefits. Due to its audio visual involvement. It can develop interest in students as it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from their regular curriculum. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
will
be involved
, students can remain updated with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
affairs of various sectors which can work towards their
overall
department. Any development or invention related to technology or therapeutic services would be on their tips and about all the happenings they would be well aware of. This can
also
boost their confidence in group talks as they would be aware of the reality in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors.

Along with the side benefits, there can be several disadvantages related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
Firstly
, It will be an additional burden of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for the schools, adequate infrastructure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be provided
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "an" or "each" is left.
an each
classroom, which can be an extra investment, whereas they
also
need to hire qualified professional from the media who can place and teach the analytical view of a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
which can be a high cost to the school. Others than this designing examination pattern can be difficult, as this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
does not confine to a particular syllabus or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
content.
Moreover
, there cannot be a control on the display of
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
violence or
they broadcast of unethical views which is common in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels and that can
severely
disturb the mentality of the student.

In conclusion
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that the disadvantages and its impact
seriously
Possible spelling mistake found.
overweights it
is possible advantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Should International news be kept as a subject in secondary school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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