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Nowadays parents force their children to study hard. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? v.2

Nowadays parents force their children to study hard. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? v. 2
Many parents want their children to become successful individuals in the future. They claim that the best way to achieve this is by enforcing children to study. In my opinion, this is a negative development that has an underlying factor causing it, which I will list in the paragraphs below. The major reason why parents put much efforts to make their off springs succeed is to help them survive in adult' s life. As it is known, adult people endeavor to work hard and achieve self-improvement to show off their abilities and qualities to confront job competition. Parents, aiming to provide the youth with future job prospects, give them to many out-of-school activities such as mathematics or music classes. For instance, I have English and math courses three times a week. Apart from this, I do also visit gym and kickboxing. Nevertheless, I believe that this development is disadvantageous, for children are exposed to much stress. This is because they are prone to become fatigued by lucubrating daily. For example, my sister is a bookworm and she peruses every book sitting till the midnight. As a result, she always looks tired and exhausted. Another reason of negativeness of too much pressure is a risk to lose motivation to study. That is to say, studies start to harass scholars so that they give up studying. To illustrate, many American teenagers quit schools to have freedom and derive from the burden of education. In conclusion, parents frequently overestimate abilities of their off springs. While happens mainly because of the future occupation, this also entails stress-related issues as well as loss of incentive to receive qualified education. From ma point of view, adults should understand what they are doing with their children.
Many
parents
want their
children
to become successful individuals in the future. They claim that the best way to achieve this is by enforcing
children
to study. In my opinion, this is a
negative
development that has an underlying factor causing it, which I will list in the paragraphs below.

The major reason why
parents
put
much
efforts to
make
their off springs succeed is to
help
them survive in
adult&
#039; s life. As it
is known
, adult
people
endeavor to work
hard
and achieve self-improvement to
show
off their abilities and qualities to confront job competition.
Parents
, aiming to provide the youth with future job prospects, give them to
many
out-of-school activities such as mathematics or music classes.
For instance
, I have English and math courses three times a week. Apart from this, I do
also
visit gym and kickboxing.

Nevertheless
, I believe that this development is disadvantageous, for
children
are exposed
to
much
stress
. This is
because
they are prone to become fatigued by lucubrating daily.
For example
, my sister is a
bookworm and
she peruses every book sitting till the midnight.
As a result
, she always looks tired and exhausted.

Another reason of negativeness of too much pressure is a
risk
to lose motivation to study.
That is
to say, studies
start
to harass scholars
so
that they give up studying. To illustrate,
many
American
teenagers
quit schools to have freedom and derive from the burden of education.

In conclusion
,
parents
frequently
overestimate abilities of their off springs. While happens
mainly
because
of the future occupation, this
also
entails
stress
-related issues
as well
as loss of incentive to receive qualified education. From ma point of view, adults should understand what they are doing with their
children
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays parents force their children to study hard. What is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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