Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession, what factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opnion, should be done about it? Give reasons for your answer and include and relevant examples from your own knowledge o v.2

Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession, what factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opnion, should be done about it? 2
It is widely believed that these days a lot of graduates are unable to find a job in their preferred profession. One of the significant reason for this is everychanging trend in job market due to advancement in technology. In my opinion, it requires more awareness among people towards selecting right profession as per their potential and creating more job opportunities. Admittedly, their are some basic reasons why graduates are not able to find the job of their choice. Firstly, Due to over population there is always high number of applicants, therefore competition is very high and only few candidate are able to make that cut. Secondly, Profession is very lucrative field and most of the graduates wants to join high end jobs to earn better packages. This further affects the balance and their is uneven distribution such as for few jobs their is no applicant and on the other side their is huge queue to get offer. Furthermore, their are few jobs where people are unable to get job due to strict selection process. For example, the selection criteria in defence forces such as army, navy and airforce. Another serious issue is that many graduate lack in effective career planning and do not have visibility to any specialized course they must do for the desired job. In addition, they do not have view to changes happening in outside world due to technological innovations, or skills required to get their dream job. I believe students should get proper counselling from experts in the same field and ought to be taught on how they can get job in shortlisted profession. In conclusion, while opinion may vary from person to person, I strongly believe striking the right balance between demand and supply with effective counselling at the secondary education level can prove to be key in changing this trend.
It is
widely
believed that these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are unable to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in their preferred profession. One of the significant reason for this is
Possible spelling mistake found.
everychanging
trend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to advancement in technology. In my opinion, it requires more awareness among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
towards selecting right profession as per their potential and creating more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities.

Admittedly
,
Did you mean "there"?
their
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
basic reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
are not able to find the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
of their choice.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Due
to over population there is always high number of applicants,
therefore
competition is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible agreement error. The noun candidate seems to be countable; consider using: "few candidates".
few candidate
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
.
Secondly
, Profession is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
lucrative field and most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduates
wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to earn better packages. This
further
affects the balance and
Did you mean "there"?
their
is uneven distribution such as for few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
Did you mean "there"?
their
is no applicant and on the other side
Did you mean "there"?
their
is huge queue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
offer.

Furthermore
,
Did you mean "there"?
their
are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to strict selection process.
For example
, the selection criteria in
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
forces such as army, navy and
Possible spelling mistake found.
airforce
. Another serious issue is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
graduate
lack in effective career planning and do not have visibility to any specialized course they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do for the desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
In addition
, they do not have view to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
happening in outside world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to technological innovations, or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
required to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their dream
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. I believe students should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
proper counselling from experts in the same field and ought to
be taught
on how they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in shortlisted profession.

In conclusion
, while opinion may vary from person to person, I
strongly
believe striking the right balance between demand and supply with effective counselling at the secondary education level can prove to be key in changing this trend.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Many university graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profession, what factors may have caused this situation and what, in your opnion, should be done about it? 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts