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The cost of international travel is decreasing and tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries? v.3

The cost of international travel is decreasing and tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries? v. 3
It is true that the cost of travelling overseas has become cheaper these days and it has boosted the tourism industry in many countries. The growth in the tourism sector has its own benefits and drawbacks and the following essay will discuss them in details. For a number of reasons, the development of the tourism industry brings a lot of benefits for many nations. Firstly, it creates a lot of job opportunities for the local people. As many hotels and restaurants are built along the tourist attraction places, they absorb many local employments and reduce the unemployment rate. Secondly, the development will also increase the country's income. As the number of tourists from the overseas increase, they spend some money in hotels and restaurants and these transactions are subjected to tax. On the other hand, the growth of this industry also brings some negative effects to the country. As more tourists are coming to the country, more tourist attraction places are then built. Many of these places are made on natural conservation areas, whereas some wild animals would lose their natural habitat and bring negative impact to the ecosystem as well. And then some tourists also bring negative behaviours that affect to the local culture. For example, in some Asian countries, the people might not drink alcoholic beverages. However, as many westerners come to these countries and bring some liquor, many the local people are introduced to the beverage and started to drink alcohol as well. In conclusion, it is true the growing trend of the tourism industry has a lot benefits for many countries. However, it should be noted that it also bring some negative effects to these countries. I personally believe that it is the government task to make some clear regulations for the tourism sectors, therefore all the positive sides of the industry outweighed the drawbacks.
It is true that the cost of travelling overseas has become cheaper these days and it has boosted the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The growth in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sector has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and drawbacks and the following essay will discuss them in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

For a number of reasons, the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
benefits for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations.
Firstly
, it creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
job opportunities for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hotels and restaurants
are built
along the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
attraction places, they absorb
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
employments and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the unemployment rate.
Secondly
, the development will
also
increase the country's income. As the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
from the overseas increase, they spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money in hotels and restaurants and these transactions
are subjected
to tax.

On the other hand
, the growth of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. As more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are coming to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
attraction places are
Did you mean "than"?
then
built.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of these places
are made
on natural conservation areas, whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
wild animals would lose their natural habitat and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact to the ecosystem
as well
. And then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
that affect to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
might not drink alcoholic beverages.
However
, as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
westerners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
liquor,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are introduced
to the beverage and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to drink alcohol
as well
.

In conclusion
, it is true the growing trend of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
has
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of benefits"?
a lot benefits
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, it should
be noted
that it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effects to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. I
personally
believe that it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
task to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
regulations for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
sectors,
therefore
all the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
outweighed the drawbacks.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The cost of international travel is decreasing and tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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