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The cost of international travel is decreasing and tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries? v.2

The cost of international travel is decreasing and tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries? v. 2
This is a true fact to consider that in the present day world has become a global village and people have chances to travel all over the world due to decreasing the cost of international travel. Considering this, some analysts consider that the rising trend of the tourism needs to be implemented in the potential countries. However, there are some pros and cons associated behind of increasing tourism in the world. There are some significant advantages of growing trend of tourism. First and foremost, economic prosperity could be a significant advantage to consider. It is generally seen that a few decades ago only developed countries and rich people had the chance to travel worldwide; however, due to the reduction of cost of air travel majority of middle and lower classes nowadays can afford to travel all over the world or within their own countries for different purposes.   As a result, many developing countries can emphasise their tourism and can earn from foreign tourists and that could be higher than the past. It can be demonstrated by a recent survey in Sri Lanka that has more than 60% of total income received from tourism. Moreover, mitigating unemployment rates could be another merit of tourism as it offers an excellent opportunity for new jobs potential. Despite, the advantages discussed above regarding rising tourism there are some negative effects which cannot be neglected without any careful consideration. Endangering culture, tradition could be done from the excessive presence of foreign tourists and that could be a detrimental fact. Environmental damages and mixed cultural influences are hard to tackle when the tourism in a country flourishes. In the end, undoubtedly, increasing worldwide travels has immense benefits to the society; however, there are numbers of drawbacks that should be handled properly.
This is a true fact to consider that in the present day world has become a global village and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have chances to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
all over the world due to decreasing the cost of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. Considering this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
analysts consider that the rising trend of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
needs to
be implemented
in the potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons associated behind of increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in the world.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
significant advantages of growing trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
First
and foremost, economic prosperity could be a significant advantage to consider. It is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that a few decades ago
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and rich
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had the chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
worldwide;
however
, due to the reduction of cost of air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
middle and lower classes nowadays can afford to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
all over the world or within their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes.
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
and can earn from foreign tourists and that could be higher than the past. It can
be demonstrated
by a recent survey in Sri Lanka that has more than 60% of total income received from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
Moreover
, mitigating unemployment rates could be another merit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
as it offers an excellent opportunity for new jobs potential.

Despite, the advantages discussed above regarding rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects which cannot
be neglected
without any careful consideration. Endangering culture, tradition could
be done
from the excessive presence of foreign tourists and that could be a detrimental fact. Environmental damages and mixed cultural influences are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to tackle when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
flourishes.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
,
undoubtedly
, increasing worldwide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travels
has immense benefits to the society;
however
, there are numbers of drawbacks that should
be handled
properly
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay The cost of international travel is decreasing and tourism is increasing in many countries. What are the advantages and disadvantages of the rising trend of tourism for countries? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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