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The international community must act immediately to ensure all nations to reduce their consumption of fossil fuels e. g. gas and oil. v.1

The international community must act immediately to ensure all nations to reduce their consumption of fossil fuels e. g. gas and oil. v. 1
Increasing consumptions of fossil fuels have resulted in the emission of the greenhouse gas which is one of the causes of issues relating to environmental damage in recent years. Therefore, some people suggest that all countries should take actions urgently to lessen the usage of the harmful energy. From my personal view, I agree with the statement to some extent. First of all, it cannot be denied that fossil fuel is one of the major contributors to global warming and climate change. Indeed, the burning of oil and coal produces tonnes of carbon dioxide per year, and it is one of the greenhouse gases that enhance radioactive forcing and contribute to global warming. The rise in temperature of the Earth has associated with numerous of adverse effects such as melting of polar ice caps, flooding of low-lying areas and rise to the sea level. Secondly, fossil fuels are generally considered to be non-renewable resources because they take millions of years to form. If the utilisation of mineral fuels is not reduced and controlled, it could be exhausted and people may soon run short of fossil fuels while scientists have not found an alternative energy source. As a result, the price of fossil fuels has also increased greatly which could lead countries to fall into a fuel war. However, there might be some concerns about the reduction of mineral fuels utilisation. One among of them is that the approach will lead to failure to maintain well-balanced social order. In fact, manufacture industry, transportation and even home heating require powers, which are generated through fossil fuels. Accordingly, detrimental consequences might impact to the development of the entire the world if we cut down the use of fossil fuel immediately. More than that, some alternative powers such as nuclear, solar and wind power have not been applied widely due to reasons like climate condition, high cost or safety requirement. It could take scientist many years developing these energies to be perfect substitutes for fossil fuel. In conclusion, in order to tackle environment problems and avoid the growing scarcity of natural energy in the future, the reduction in the consumption of fossil fuels should be considered and planned purposefully and gradually.
Increasing
Possible spelling mistake found.
consumptions
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
have resulted in the emission of the greenhouse gas which is one of the causes of issues relating to environmental damage in recent years.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that all countries should take actions
urgently
to lessen the usage of the harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
. From my personal view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it cannot
be denied
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
is one of the major contributors to global warming and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
Indeed
, the burning of oil and coal produces tonnes of carbon dioxide per
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, and it is one of the greenhouse gases that enhance radioactive forcing and contribute to global warming. The rise in temperature of the Earth has associated with numerous of adverse effects such as melting of polar ice caps, flooding of low-lying areas and rise to the sea level.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
are
generally
considered to be non-renewable resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they take millions of years to form. If the
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
of mineral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
and controlled, it could
be exhausted
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
run short of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
while scientists have not found an alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
source.
As a result
, the price of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
has
also
increased
greatly
which could lead countries to fall into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
war.

However
, there might be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
concerns about the reduction of mineral
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilisation' is British English.
utilisation
. One among of them is that the approach will lead to failure to maintain well-balanced social order. In fact, manufacture industry, transportation and even home heating require powers, which
are generated
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
.
Accordingly
, detrimental consequences might impact to the development of the entire the world if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
immediately. More than that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
alternative powers such as nuclear, solar and wind power have not
been applied
widely
due to reasons like climate condition, high cost or safety requirement. It could take scientist
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years developing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energies
to be perfect substitutes for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
fuel.

In conclusion
, in order to tackle environment problems and avoid the growing scarcity of natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
energy
in the future, the reduction in the consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuels
should
be considered
and planned
purposefully
and
gradually
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay The international community must act immediately to ensure all nations to reduce their consumption of fossil fuels e. g. gas and oil. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
367 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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