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the continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. what are the causes of this continued rise? do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity? v.10

the continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. what are the causes of this continued rise? do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity? v. 10
It is stated that, population explosion is the biggest problem faced by humanity in current time. However, in my opinion terrorism is the greatest threat to humanity, even though rising population affect adversely on human beings. This essay deals with some contributing factors to the rise in human population and how terrorism being the biggest threat to humanity. the argument put forward in favor of population explosion as the greatest threat to humanity is based on the fact that, many people in under developed countries live without not only education but also mere food and water. Somalia is one of the good illustration of this truth. there are many factors leading to population explosion. firstly, unemployment and lack of education play a major role in increasing population. for example, the rise in population explosion in developed countries is under control through proper education and better employment facilities. In addition, ignorance about family planning methods also serves as a reason for increasing population. However, in my opinion terrorism is the biggest problem affected by not only few countries but also almost all the countries and it affects all the aspect of life. Many nations are not able to fund for proper development, as they spend majority of budget in order to fight against terrorism. For instance, in Syria tremendous number of people left out without home and any living facilities and many become orphans. To conclude, although rising population is one of the big burden on humanity, I tend to believe that terrorism is the greatest threat to humanity in recent years because of its ability to destroy anything and anyone in few seconds.
It
is stated
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
explosion is the biggest problem faced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time.
However
, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorism
is the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
threat
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
,
even though
rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
affect
adversely
on human beings. This essay deals with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
contributing factors to the rise in human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorism
being the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
threat
to humanity.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
the
argument put forward in favor of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
explosion as the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
threat
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
is based
on the fact that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in under developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
mere food and water. Somalia is one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this truth.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
explosion.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, unemployment and lack of education play a major role in increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
for
example, the rise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
explosion in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is under control through proper education and better employment facilities.
In addition
, ignorance about family planning methods
also
serves as a reason for increasing population.

However
, in my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorism
is the biggest problem
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
almost all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and it affects all the aspect of life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
nations are not able to fund for proper development, as they spend
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
budget in order to fight against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorism
.
For instance
, in Syria tremendous number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
out without home and any living facilities and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
become orphans.

To conclude
, although rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
, I tend to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
terrorism
is the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
threat
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humanity
in recent years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
anything and anyone in few seconds.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay the continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. what are the causes of this continued rise? do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity? v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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