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The continued rise in the world population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity? v.1

The continued rise in the world population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity? v. 1
According to World Statistics, by 2050, the human population will increase exponentially to 10 billion. Indeed, it is said that the unstoppable growth of the number of people is the biggest threat the planet is facing today. This essay will explore the reasons in the continued rise of population and will discuss why it is considered as the greatest problem of humanity. To begin with, there are myriad of problems the world is encountering and to some the rise in population is the first on the long list. This is because of the unmeasured detrimental effects it represents. In addition, those effects of the growing population branch out to more serious problems; for instance, the increase in population is directly proportional to the rise in poverty rate which may redound to the growth in crime rate and hunger. Thus, the rising population serves as the root cause of more dilemmas. There are some causes of the rapid acceleration of the number of human race. Firstly, mortality rate is decreasing while the number of children born is continuously rising. As a result, there is a wide discrepancy in the balance of the population rate; the number of death is not equal to the number of birth so it adds up to the number of people living. Moreover, the increase in birth rate is connected to the improper use of contraception which means that more humans are unaware and uneducated about the importance of family planning. Lastly, as technology advances, the mode of transportation is also developing, a reason why many people migrate to countries or areas where the opportunities are abundant. Henceforth, this author believes that this problem in population is superior. Aforementioned the direct connection in the rise of the number of people and poverty, which leads to more serious problem, the number of unemployed also increases, so some people will resort in doing crimes like theft and robbery. Apart from this, food scarcity becomes an issue as many people to feed, food sources can’t suffice the need of the growing population, then hunger and malnutrition will arise from this problem. Therefore, the many issues the world is facing cannot be resolve unless finding solution to the tremendous growth of human population. To recapitulate, the increase of the living humans is truly the greatest problem of the world which will soon leads to far more serious issues. In my opinion, there are solutions that the government and the people can do together to address this growing dilemma. The country should educate its people about the importance of family planning and subsidize contraceptive products for those in lower income level. We, people should contribute as well by religiously complying with the program of the government in controlling population growth.
According to
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World
Statistics, by 2050, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
exponentially
to 10 billion.
Indeed
, it
is said
that the unstoppable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is the biggest threat the planet is facing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
. This essay will explore the reasons in the continued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
and will discuss why it
is considered
as the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of humanity.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is encountering and to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is the
first
on the long list. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the unmeasured detrimental effects it represents.
In addition
, those effects of the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
branch out to more serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
;
for instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is
directly
proportional to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
in poverty
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
which may redound to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
in crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
and hunger.
Thus
, the rising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
serves as the root cause of more dilemmas.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes of the rapid acceleration of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
race.
Firstly
, mortality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is decreasing while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of children born is
continuously
rising.
As a result
, there is a wide discrepancy in the balance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
; the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of death is not equal to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of birth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
up to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in birth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rate
is connected
to the improper
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of contraception which means that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
are unaware and uneducated about the importance of family planning.
Lastly
, as technology advances, the mode of transportation is
also
developing, a reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate to countries or areas where the opportunities are abundant.

Henceforth, this author believes that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is superior. Aforementioned the direct connection in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rise
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and poverty, which leads to more serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of unemployed
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increases
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will resort in doing crimes like theft and robbery. Apart from this, food scarcity becomes an issue as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to feed, food sources can’t suffice the need of the growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
, then hunger and malnutrition will arise from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Therefore
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
issues the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is facing cannot be
Consider using a past participle here: "resolved".
resolve
unless finding solution to the tremendous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
population.

To recapitulate, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
of the living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
is
truly
the greatest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
which will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
leads to far more serious issues. In my opinion, there are solutions that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do together to address this growing dilemma. The country should educate its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the importance of family planning and subsidize contraceptive products for those in lower income level. We,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should contribute
as well
by
religiously
complying with the program of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
growth
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
61Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay The continued rise in the world population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time. What are the causes of this rise? Do you agree that it is the greatest problem faced by humanity? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
458 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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