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Do you agree or disagree with the statement that people should read or watch news presented by people whose views are different from your own? v.2

that people should read or watch news presented by people whose views are different from your own? v. 2
In my view, I agree with the statement that people should read or watch news that are presented by those who have different point of view from themselves. The following are reasons why I support this idea. First, people will have more information to make decision to trust or to distrust that news. If we keep reading only the news source that have the same attitude as us, we would limit our opportunity to obtain different or addition facts that we don' t know. For example, talking about political news in Thailand, even though there are many news medias in my country, actually these media channels are divided into two groups only; the group that support the king and the group that support the former prime minister Tuksin Chinnawat. People who support each group will only watch the TV channel that have the same view of points as themselves and refused to watch the opposite channel. The result was that they kept fighting each other and ruined the country' s economic for many years. In contrast, if they were to open their minds by watching and reading the opposite news, they would have reconsidered and slowed down the arguments. They would have made their decision rationally based on facts that they gathered from various sources, and importantly, they would not have destroyed the country' s economic for years. Second, people can adopt this opening mind habit into other aspects of their life. If they are able to open their mind reading or watching news who have different view of points from them, they would be able to listen other who think different from them at work, at school or even in their family also. Take the previous political news in my country as example, two my coworkers support a different political group and they often fought every time when they had conversations about the news presented and the worst thing was that they could not work together happily. However, my boss, who had a middle view of point and did research about the political news for her own interest, explained the details on the topics they were arguing based on more information she had. The two employees then opened their mind and accepted the flaws that their favorite medias did not included into the news. This situation also tough them to always open mind and listen to others even though their attitude are different because it will help reducing conflicts at work or at their home. In conclusion, there are many advantage of reading or watching news presented from others who have different view of points from us, so I do encourage people to do so.
In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should read or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
that
are presented
by those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
from themselves. The following are reasons why I
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support
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

First
,
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people
will have more information to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decision to trust or to distrust that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
source that have the same attitude as us, we would limit our opportunity to obtain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
or addition facts that we
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t know.
For example
, talking about political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in Thailand,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
medias in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, actually these media channels
are divided
into two
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groups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
; the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the king and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the former prime minister
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tuksin
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chinnawat
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the TV channel that have the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
as themselves and refused to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
the opposite channel. The result was that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
fighting each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and ruined the
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s economic for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years.
In contrast
, if they were to open their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
minds
by watching and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
the opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, they would have reconsidered and slowed down the arguments. They would have made their decision
rationally
based on facts that they gathered from various sources, and
importantly
, they would not have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
country&
#039; s economic for years.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can adopt this opening
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mind
habit into
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other
aspects of their life. If they are able to open their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
or watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
from them, they would be able to listen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
from them at work, at school or even in their family
also
. Take the previous political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as example, two my coworkers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
political
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
group and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
fought every time when they had conversations about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
presented and the worst thing was that they could not work together
happily
.
However
, my boss,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
had a middle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
and did research about the political
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
for her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on the topics they were arguing based on more information she had. The two employees then opened their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
the flaws that their favorite medias did not
The verb 'did' requires the base form of the verb: "include"
included
into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. This situation
also
tough them to always open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and listen to others
even though
their attitude are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
The verb 'help' is used with an infinitive: "to reduce" or "reduce".
reducing
conflicts at work or at their home.

In conclusion
, there are
Possible agreement error. The noun advantage seems to be countable; consider using: "many advantages".
many advantage
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
or watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
presented from others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
view
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
points
from us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I do encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
67Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay that people should read or watch news presented by people whose views are different from your own? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
446 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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