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Nowadays technology is increasing being used to monitor what people are saying and doing for example through cellphone tracking and security cameras In many cases the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening v.1

Nowadays technology is increasing being used to monitor what people are saying and doing for example through cellphone tracking and security cameras In many cases the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening v. 1
With the technological advancement and their rapid and wide applications have significant impact on human being life. However, people using Technology because, it saves their time and it does work very perfectly. But, some people use technology for wrong work. Nowadays, people are using security camera and tracking cell phone; is it beneficial or not? Every coin has two sides, positive or negative. Similarly, i am going to examine both the advantages or disadvantages and shape of my opinion by the end. On the brighter side, every criminal have their own mobile phone and they use moblile phone to contact with their leaders or other group members. So, the tracking device help defence people to catch them group and with the help of tracking system, defence people find the criminal location and easily catch criminals. Moreover, major use of camera is security and camera also used in the school or colleges to show the student or teacher behaviour. Furthermore, in city area government puts camera on roads for control the traffic system. In Addition to this, camera also help to monitoring tourist and historical places. On the darker side, because of camera and tracking device, sometimes people feel insecure and disable. Because, some people easily hack any security device and collect some important memory. Probing ahead, sometime terrorists hacking camera and collect some details. Because of that tracing device and camera, people privacy are hurting. Majority people think that with the help of camera they catch theft but, they knew about the camera and wear a mask on their face after they do robbery. According to me, due to security camera and tracing cell Technology, people does their work in discipline and they always rememberable their rules and regulations but, for doing missuse people put themselves into horrible situations. Finally, advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages.
With the technological advancement and their rapid and wide applications have significant impact on human being life.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using Technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it saves their time and it does work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
perfectly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
technology for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
work. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
and tracking cell phone; is it beneficial or not? Every coin has two sides,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
Similarly
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am going to examine both the advantages or disadvantages and shape of my opinion by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

On the brighter side, every criminal have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mobile
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
phone and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible spelling mistake found.
moblile
phone to contact with their leaders or other group members.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the tracking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to catch them group and with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of tracking system,
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find the criminal location and
easily
catch criminals.
Moreover
, major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the school or colleges to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the student or teacher
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
Furthermore
, in city area
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
puts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
on roads for control the traffic system.
In Addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to monitoring tourist and historical places.

On the darker side,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
and tracking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel insecure and disable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
hack any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
and collect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
memory. Probing ahead, sometime terrorists hacking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
and collect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that tracing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
privacy are hurting. Majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
they catch theft
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, they knew about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
and wear a mask on their face after they do robbery.

This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
and tracing cell Technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
does
their work in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
discipline and
they always rememberable their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, for doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
missuse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
put themselves into horrible situations.
Finally
, advantages of this development outweigh disadvantages.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays technology is increasing being used to monitor what people are saying and doing for example through cellphone tracking and security cameras In many cases the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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